The position of “OneD tissue attendant” isn’t new: It was originally created two years ago when the statues were first installed. Fans were so overcome with joy at seeing the five (wax) boys that someone had to be brought in to dry their tears.
The position has now been revived for the less joyous occasion. The departure of the only talented member (oh hush you Harry Styles fans!) Zayn Malik.
But don't worry: