Bad dates suck. Sometimes, there's literally nothing you can do to escape, and you're just sort of suffocating in the awkwardness. The worst part is when they have absolutely no idea just how awful you feel, and you feel somehow obliged to finish the date even when there's no reason to!!! Don't worry. I've been there.
And so have these girls!!! So, I bring you, the worst date stories I could find. You're welcome for the huge cringe fest you're about to read!!!
The Creepy Baby Guy
"I once went on a date with a guy I met online. He looked normal enough, and I agreed to go on a date with him. We met for drinks, and things were going really well. Handsome, charming, seemingly normal, so I agreed to go on another date with him. We head to a really nice steakhouse, and after appetizers and his third martini, he starts to speak baby talk to me, as in "would you wike a wittle kissy-wissy?" Our steaks arrive and he reached across the table to cut my meat for me! I'm completely freaked out, decide I'm going to the bathroom, and he asks if I need help wiping. (I wish I was making this up.) I make it to the ladies' room, where my waitress walks in and says, "Um, I was just listening in on your date. Your guy has put a pacifier on your plate. Do you need to go out the back?" She winds up sneaking me through the kitchen, and I slipped her a $20 tip." Kristen, NY
"Everyone has a price"
"About 10 minutes into a blind date, the guy whipped out a book about Wal-Mart and started telling me that it changed his life, and that Sam Walton was his God. I nodded along, asked questions, and told myself that maybe I would learn something interesting about Sam Walton...but I could tell there was something off about this dude. Moments later, he proceeded to go on a seemingly unrelated tangent about how everyone in the world 'has their price.' He told me I had a price. When I asked him what he meant by that, he pointed at a woman sitting at the bar and said, 'That girl has a price. I could get her to go home with me right now if I offered her enough money. Same with you.' After picking up my jaw from the floor, I said a few choice words and left. Total creepazoid." Faye, NY
Bartenders Watching Tinder Dates
The Biggest Loser
“When the movie my date wanted to see was sold out, we went to my first choice instead. A few minutes into the film, he announced he was going to get us some candy. Twenty minutes passed. Then 30. Worried, I sent him a text. No response. I even checked the lobby. An hour later, as the credits rolled, this fool came strolling into my theater bragging about how he’d snuck in to see the movie he’d wanted!” —Chauncie, Chicago
The Tip Guy
"I went on a first date with a guy, and admitted I was not the best at math. He then proceeded to tell me how easy math was, and how he could clearly take my same classes, never show up to any of them, and still get better grades. He then asked me if I knew how to leave a tip; I told him I normally double the tax. He then spent 10 minutes showing me on a piece of paper how to find 15 percent, and was freaking out about the fact that by doubling the tax, I was in fact “overtipping by about 1.5 percent.” The horror! He wouldn’t let us pay the bill and leave until I showed him I could calculate the exact 15 percent tip."