2 years ago
onesmile
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9 Steps of Missing Someone
It's not always easy when you miss someone that isn't around anymore. A lover that was lost somewhere along the lines. The ex you didn't want to let go, but you had to anyways.

Here's how I like to wallow in that "missing them," and eventually, get over it. You can't get over someone until you really feel the loss, so this is how you can get to feeling it!

1. Listen to music that you reminds you of them, or reminds you of what you were like with them.

You're going to find your story in every song you listen to anyways, so you might as well surround yourself with it. Put on that CD that reminds you most of them, or that makes you the saddest, and surround yourself in it for a few nights. Don't do this forever, of course, but this will help you really get in touch with exactly what you're feeling.

2. Write them a letter.

You don't have to send it (but you totally can if you want to!) The point is to write down how you're feeling, so that you're aware what you're feeling. Why is it you miss them? Are you also hurt and betrayed, or simply sad? Why are things changing for you and is it OK that they're changing? What do you thank them for? Just write it all down. Like I said you don't have to mail it but you should write it down.

3. Create a separate space to write about them, and your feelings towards them.

If you don't like letters, make a fake email and just email your feelings to yourself so you can revisit them. Or, start a journal just for emotions related to that person so you can put them all away in one place. Knowing that they're sitting on paper somewhere will help you let them go, because you don't have to cling to them anymore!

4. Lay around and think about that day that was the absolute best with them.

You're going to do it anyways, so you might as well make it something productive. Think about what made you happy with them--was it actually them? Or was it the situation? Did they do something so great no one else could match it, or is it just ok now that you think about it again? Work through this!

5. Read sappy books; watch sappy movies!

Like I said, you're going to do it anyways so embrace it. This will help you cry and help you connect with your emotions. And you can do it with friends, which is a totally important part of the getting over it process!

6. Don't be afraid to cry.

Crying is good and healthy. Just do not overwhelm yourself - your health right now is just as important!! Cry and cry, when you feel the need to, but remember that someday you will stop and that will be ok.

7. Now, lay around and think about all the times you couldn't stand them, and you knew that things were just wrong.

Not every single day was perfect--why? Did something about the two of you just not mash well? What was it about them that you could never let certain things slide? Figure that out, and you'll be better off.

8. Miss them until you don’t have to anymore.

Maybe all this missing them will make you realize that your breakup, which was barely mutual on either end, wasn't really the right choice. Maybe you'll realize you've made a mistake, and you'll end up making up, and then you'll be reunited. In that case, miss them until it feels like you never left, because they'll be back at your side.

9. Or, miss them until you don't.

This is more likely. Miss them until you can’t anymore, until the things you miss are identified and cataloged as things and not a person. Until you know that while it was special, it wasn't the only time that you will ever find a connection like that one: someone special will find you again. Miss someone until you don’t.
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@madeleine Sometimes, you just have to give into it!! When I watch overly sappy movies I'm like "this is too much" but it really puts my problems into perspective, too!!
I've written my share of "wow i'm so sad" letters, but never sent them. I just need them for myself, you know'?