4 years ago10,000+ Views
There's nothing I hate more than coming out of a relationship and realizing that I am the one that was hurt more by the breakup, and that they're honestly not affected.
I always look back over the relationships and beat myself up because I didn't see all the signs of "damn, clearly I am way more into this than they are!!" I've also had the moment when I look back at a breakup and realize that I was totally in it for the wrong reasons, too, and that I hurt somebody just because I felt like I needed to be dating.
So I've come to learn some obvious signs of being in a one-sided relationship. Here they are:

1. Disrespectful Treatment

If your S.O. only exists to put you on your pedestal, you're not in this for the right reasons, you just want to feel loved. If they seem to only there to make you feel better (or vice versa) it's time to end this toxic relationship!

2. You've Got a Bunch of Rules to Follow

It's fine to be clear about what you want and don't want in love, but if you find that your partner is setting weird rules for your relationship (like, we can't see each other more than 2 days a week kind of rules) that you didn't really want to set, then this isn't working. If you have to set rules for your dating story to work out, it wasn't meant to be, and they're not the person you want to be with.

3. It's Online Only

I'm not saying that meeting online isn't possible (I think it is!) but really, if your relationship is totally virtual for no reason (i.e. you find yourself having to text them all the time instead of being able to just meet up), then the commitment level just isn't right between the two of you! Break up!

4. The Relationship is a Secret

If they're not willing to tell the world about your relationship, you shouldn't be dating them. Now, I'm not saying the have to be willing to literally announce it to everyone, but if they're trying to actively hide a relationship that you're proud of, they're not the one for you.

5. You Barely See Them

Unless you're in a long distance relationship or something, there's no reason you should only be meeting two times a month! If they care about you, they will make time for you (even if brief!) If they refuse or say they're too busy with work, remind them that lawyers and doctors are always willing to make time even with their busy schedules, so you'll be happy to go date one of them.

6. You Make All The Plans

Now, there can be exceptions to this based on personality, but for the most part, if they never take part in planning and they never seem to care which of your plans you pick, then they're really not caring how they're spending their time with you. Break up!!
@onesmile A very good point. It is very recent. Like 2 weeks recent.
@Spudsy2061 Sorry to jump in here but to me that sounds more like it's secret because you guys aren't really sure what the relationship will be, and you'll still working with it because it's been so recent, as opposed to being kept secret because one of you doesn't want it to be public! It's different if you're doing it together for reasons you both truly believe in!!
#4 is tricky. I'm in a bit of a pickle with that now. A friend and I just got close and she left a 9 year relationship about 2 months ago I'd say. The three of us all work under the same building. My friend and I realize it still might be too soon, or that going public might change the working relationships with a lot of others around us so like it's under wraps for now. Think we might want it to be for a while.
@onesmile That's so true. And it's way harder to recognize when you're the one doing it!!
It's funny because the saddest i ever was after a relationship was actually when I realized that I had been the one that wasn't really into it, and they really were. I felt bad when I realized how much I'd sort of been like using them without meaning to. It's not always purposefully done