4 years ago10,000+ Views
I've been thinking a lot about the nature of the relationships I've been in lately. (and considering getting a dog instead of spending so much time thinking about love). But there's one thing that's always gotten to me: is it weird that I simply find myself falling out of love?
Of course, sometimes this is fairly normal. The person changes, or I change, or a big event changes us and it's impossible for things to be normal again. Other times, I don't want to fall out of love, it just simply isn't the same anymore. And I wonder if it's only me who finds this sad and odd and frustrating.
So I wanted to ask you guys, too: why have you fallen out of love? Or, why has someone told you they have fallen out of love with it?
I have "fallen out of love" twice. The first time I was wish him for 6.5 years, and our relationship wasn't going anywhere. We had a really rough relationship though, and I won't go into details, but one day I just woke up, and realized I was done. It didn't hurt to think about leaving him anymore. I know that to this day I still have love for him, but I am not in love with him any longer. The second time was here, just a few months ago. We were together for a year and a half. Our relationship started off really rocky, we broke up, I moved 3,000 miles away (long story), then a few months later decided we wanted to try things again. We were absolutely amazing, we knew that we had the potential to be something absolutely amazing. I decided to move back home, but needed to save the money.. Two months later I was on my way back home!! When I got home, things were absolutely perfect, the way I knew love and happiness were supposed to feel. But then right before Christmas, he started to change. Was distancing himself and acting weird. I was pretty much living there, but only going back to my house maybe once or twice a month.. I went home 2 days after Christmas, he blew me off on New Years. I tried figuring out what was going on, I tried fixing it, but one day I woke up and realized I couldn't be the only one trying to fix the relationship. So I stopped putting in the effort, stopped texting him first. It hurt for a while and it was really hard. Two months of this and I was fed up. Hadn't seen, nor heard from him in almost 2 months. I told him we needed to talk, so we made lunch plans. Then he blew those off because I sucked the life out of him when I asked at 3pm if we were still on for lunch. I called him and ended things right then & it didn't bother me at all. So, maybe he "fell out of love" with me, then I fell out of love with him.. who knows. But honestly, I don't think you can just wake up one day and no longer be In love with them. I thought about this the other day. I have had some very strong love for people and the two men in those relationships, but I do not believe that I have ever been truly, head over heels, in the unconditional love that everybody these days swears they are in. Sorry about the ramble!!
@fallingwater I think it'll always be sad. We are taught that love is supposed to last "forever", so when it doesn't, it shakes our world up a little bit. And when you have fallen in love with someone, it takes that much more heartache to leave when you're no longer happy. Whether you're in love with the person anymore or not, you're emotionally invested in them, with automatically makes it that much deeper. Any time you're emotions are involved in something, it instantly complicates it and makes it that much harder to understand.
@hikaymm Then you're very welcome! I still have love for both of my ex's that I was serious with, but I am not in love with them. I am still friends with one of them, and I knew when it wasn't weird being friends, that I wasn't ever truly in love with him. The feelings for him just vanished, which told me that it wasn't love. It was infatuation. it is extreme confusing!!
@JennyStinson No thanks for rambling because I think I can really relate to the first story....I just knew it one day. Even if I still have love fot him, I was suddenly not in love, or I just realized it was love for him not being in love that I had been feeling. It's so confusing!
I'm still in high school, so I don't think I've fallen completely in love yet, but I have had some really deep attractions to some people. Earlier this year I had this major crush on a guy who is truly amazing. We didn't talk much and most of our conversations revolved around math because that's how we met. Anyways after some time we lost all communication, I didn't see him in school often, and I realized I would never be anything more than some girl he helped in math... I think that's when my feelings stated to fall, we didn't talk or see each other, and even though I still had this thing for him I made up my mind that I wouldn't chase after him if I knew he didn't feel the same...
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