2 years ago
fallingwater
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The Real Reasons People Cheat
I don't understand cheaters. I really don't. But that's probably because I've never encountered a situation where cheating would be a realistic option for me. I have been cheated on once, though, but it didn't feel that bad--we were basically over in all but verbal agreement.
But why do people cheat?
I've been really curious about this, so I went looking in forums to see what people's reasons are for cheating, and as bad as it is....I kind of understand.

Adam's Reason:

I was in a relationship I didn’t want to be in, but we shared so much stuff and it just seemed so much easier to stay with her and not have to split all of our stuff up just for a couple of lays. Is that bad to say?

Ryan's Reason:

I felt stuck. I didn’t want to be in the relationship but I knew that by ending it I would hurt my girlfriend so much that I just went about it behind her back because I didn’t want to deal with the huge break up drama of it all, you know?

Jordan's Reason:

Honestly, it was a toxic relationship. We hated but loved each other. But when we hated each other we both went out and fucked other people. I guess it was just our system.

Peter's Reason:

I was so fuckin’ unhappy man. I had tried to leave, she didn’t let me. I tried to leave her before I cheated but she’d scream and cry and threaten things. So finally I just stayed and then at the bar one night ended up going home with somebody but I was so damn miserable I didn’t even care by that point.

Jane's Reason:

Because I thought I was bored. Because I thought there might be something better. Because I thought I could get away with it.Wrong, wrong, and seriously fucking wrong.

Lori's Reason:

My ex and I used to cheat on each other like it was a game. He was physically and mentally abusive and I was young, immature, and mesmerized by an older man. We had what I call the 3 Fs, fighting, fucking, and fun and that’s ALL we did. Super awesome highs and god awful lows with lots of sex in between. After he cheated on me the first time I cheated on him. Then we’d break up, get back together and repeat the cycle. It was like we were addicted to each and the drama. I had sex with more guys when I was with him then I did the entire time I’ve been single.

Dan's Reason:

The simple truth of it is, I’m selfish, I’m scared to feel anything ‘real’ and I’m still a child at heart.I am a serial cheater, every girlfriend I’ve ever had (except my first serious one who cheated on me) I have cheated on. Most of these girls I cheated with have gone on to be my long term girlfriends, until it got serious enough or boring enough that I sought excitement elsewhere.
I was able to find so many more stories from guys (not many girls) and I feel like that has a lot to do with the (wrong) stereotype that guys cheat more than girls.

Anyways, what do you think? Do people ever have the right to cheat, or is it ever understandable?

To me, it sounds like all of these people just had trouble communicated their real problems and desires with their partner, so they cheated. But that's just my thought.
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@nikkinjg Totally agree with you all (@nats @heartofgold35) It's like...I understand why not, but I still don't think it's right. I see that it's a failing of people being able to be upfront about things, about being able to make the decision that goodbye has to come before other action can be taken.
Ryan sounds like the wooorst. He didn't want to hurt his girlfriend? That's his reasoning? Really?!
you're right! What more important in relationships is understanding(most important thing to avoid cheating) and if your partner cheats you, break up! but at least know the reason behind it and try to avoid it next time(if you are most forgiving person for first cheat) or in next relationship. this is my thought.
For me, anyone can hurt my feelings with the truth but should never ever with cheating. And if you cheat, never blame the partner for it or act like you really care about how he/she feels.