"If there was no grief in our life, it would not be better, it would be worse. Because then there would be ... neither happiness, nor hope. That’s it." Andrei Tarkovsky, This made me think about happiness and unhappiness again. In order to be happier, I need to suffer more. But, how can I suffer deliberately, to be happier? Searching for happiness brings more grief. More grief brings more hope for happiness. I am addicted to the hope of happiness. I want to search for happiness, because in deep I know; if I find the happiness, it will bring more grief. I just want to be the hunter. I don't really want the hunt. I am not sure if I can catch that hunt again. However, if I continue hunting, and if I can content myself with the pleasure of hunting, then I can be happy forever. I don't need the hunt, I just need hunting.