Like the Mad Hatter, we're all a bit out of our minds.
When we're born, we're all born mad.
In our formative years we're, for the most part, encouraged to explore new things, get creative. Once we enter school things become regimented. Rules get enforced, and the madness we were born with gets thrown away like a pen that's run out of ink.
From spending the past four years studying as an actress, I can tell you my madness is well managed. I learned to control it, unleash it at the right time, and use it to my advantage on the stage.
From spending my whole life as a rock musician and writer, I spent most of my time letting it rule over me. Fighting against the current was my sanity, encouraging me to live life by a set of rules I didn't agree with.
Up there under the lights with my guitar I am a goddess. I'm all-powerful, I'm a maniach messiah built to help others through my music.
The problem is when the goddess crashes down to earth, and has reality to contend with.
We all have things we feel alive doing. For me it's writing, playing music, acting. For others it may be working out, hanging with friends, travelling. These things that give us life harness our madness.
After college is over there are a few necessary steps you must take to adulthood. One is getting a hold of yourself. We often feel alone once our friends leave and the people you've made your life with at school move away, or you move away.
Things just aren't the same, and that can be scary. We can get overwhelmed.
When the clouds get overburdened they fill up with water, turn gray and dump their sorrows on humanity. Like an omniscient barometer for what’s going on in your life the rain meets you halfway and says, “Hey, me too.”
Without these little reminders from nature that the cosmos are with you, there wouldn’t be a point. Without the madness we may get more productive, but would we be better?
It rained all day today. Cloudy rumbles filled the air. People stayed inside. I've been feeling a little lost lately. I'm caught between a life I've made over the past 10 years in Ohio and a life unknown in New York City. I'm uncertain, but i'm ready.
I board a JetBlue flight, one way in 28 days. Who knows if i'll come back.
When you work hard, things move quickly. The universe, no matter how cruel early on, will reward you if you send enough positive energy and good into the world. It may take forever, or too long to appreciate, but it will happen.
Despite the recent developments in my professional life, I feel a certain detachment. I've always been eccentric, burdened by anxiety and plagued with self-doubt, but in recent months I've seen less of that. What I've seen more of however; is what my potential really is, and once I seize that it can turn into madness, an unpredictable feeling of heading careening toward a greater goal. Our madness makes us who we are.
Madness doesn't appear randomly. It lies dormant especially in the creatives. The people who live outside the lines are more susceptible. The madness is just a benign tumor that turns active in the times you least need it to. Spinning out of control, dancing on the grave of everything you did to create success. The madness...I feel it now. Sometimes the madness works in your favor, driving you to accomplish things and make a difference.
Sometimes it makes you idle, trapped, scared. It makes you sit around and watch movies you've seen a thousand times. It makes you eat poorly. It makes you insecure, but what will happen when you embrace the madness?
We can make excuses and walk around hosting cocktail parties for the ghosts in our lives, or we can lay them to rest. We can stand up, fight back. Take control.Troubled pasts and mistakes do not have to follow you.
When we kick out at the world, the world will kick back, and we have to be ready. Sometimes we need to place our madness in a box and put it away. We must function in normal life, but every once in a while, when we crack the lid on the box and release our madness, our creativity we might change the world. So go ahead, open it up.