Late last evening, area man John Smith, in a state of heavy inebriation, clambered atop a local beach's closed vendor booth. Whilst atop the booth, Smith screamed to the heavens, declaring himself king of the known universe while swooping his arms around his head in a circular pattern. According to a timeless and forgotten prophecy, Smith had completed the required coronation ritual, and a fiery hole in the fabric of all reality appeared over him, signaling his ascension to the Universal Throne. When asked to comment on this major life-changing event today, Smith had this to say:
"Yeah, I guess it's pretty cool. Not really something I can put on a resume, though."
Truly a humble man.