Woman Summons Ancient Light Creature, Fumbles Introduction
Early this morning, Sheila Bjergson, Nova Scotia native, accidentally unleashed upon the world an other-worldy being made of pure light identified as Lumiera, Destroyer of Darkness.
Sheila has been traveling with friends, vacationing in Iceland, when they decided that an early morning jaunt would be just the way to start their morning. While out and about, Sheila felt compelled to point her hand to the sky and scream aloud an ancient language that none of her companions could recognize.
In response to her summons, a snake-like being made of pulsating rainbow light appeared and called upon Sheila to determine the reason for the summoning. Sheila, now coming to terms with the gravity of her predicament, requested that the incandescent entity cleanse the world with furious light, shearing away all that is dark and evil, leaving only those who would walk in the light.
In unrelated news, a staggering drop in population rates has been reported around the globe, and carbon emissions are at an all-time low.