At 4:06pm, PST, this image was uploaded to various media outlets by disgruntled members of the ocean community, with the tagline "Blood for Urine." Apparently angered by the rising uric acid levels of the world's different oceans, certain members of the aquatic community have decided to take a stand.
the man in the photo is believed to be Jonah Von Korff, a novice SCUBA diver and frequent beach visitor. Allegedly, Mr. Von Korff has been regularly relieving himself within 30 yards of a major barracuda neighborhood. Seen here are members of that neighborhood who have become fed up with swimming in Von Korff's waste. They have taken him hostage, vowing that if there is nothing done to alleviate the situation, they would begin nibbling away at him, starting with his extremities.
The carnivorous fish allowed Von Korff one statement: "I didn't think it was a big deal, I mean, they poop in here!"
We will keep you updated as the story progresses.