How Can You Even Think About Not Wanting Children?
"How can you not want babies, their so cute?"
"Carrying a child just make you get more in touch with your womanhood."
"Becoming a mother is the most important thing you can do in this lifetime."
"Don't worry, you'll change your mind when you get older."
Well I was never worried until I started talking to you, so thanks for that.
When I was a kid playing house was my favorite thing; except I never, and I mean never, played the mom. Why would I want to? Moms have to watch the kids, do whatever they want to do and then yell at them if they are doing something wrong (having to much fun).
Don't get me wrong, motherhood is an amazing thing. The fact that a human body can form inside a life is beautiful, and being a Mom is 100% the hardest profession in the world. The respect I have of pregnant women and mothers alike is indescribable.
Plus babies are so cute right? Yeah, when you can return them once they start crying.
Having this attitude certainly gets me a lot of lash back. My mother is already demanding at least two babies, meanwhile I can't even fathom having one.
It is becoming more apparent the older (and more fertile) I get, that people still believe that all woman should be baby crazy. Sure, give them their jobs, let them wear pants, enjoy their newfound sexual rebellions and freedoms, but if they try to stop there true destinies of becoming baby making machines we must shame them back into motherhood where they belong.
No thank you!
So here is some much needed support for all those woman out there who find that motherhood is not on their radar.
Not having a child means money in the pocket.
Having a child cost bank. I recently went to a baby shower and almost collapsed on the floor when I saw how much diapers alone cost, and that's only a small part of what a baby needs. The registry went on for almost 10 pages! And if you think about it, they only get more expensive from there. Flash forward to college. Right now paying for our own loans is mind boggling, try throwing a few kids in the mix.
The money you save by not having an little rug rats means you can spend it on other cool things... like anything but diapers.
Being a Mom means a lot more responsibility
Motherhood is a full time profession. You will never get a day off, ever. If your kid isn't sick they need to be car pooled to all of their after-school activities. Then you have to be involved with school and help them with homework, research SAT prep courses and find the perfect schools. Even when they are older and out of the house a Mothers worry can never go away. I am 22 years old and my mom still worries about me going to a bar with my friends. I will be married and across the country and she will still be worrying that I am not doing the laundry enough.
That is just how Moms are. And they rock for being caring and always ready to help you out of everything. But I have enough anxiety as it is. Throw in a baby and I would need to start popping pills to relax.
Going Anywhere Becomes A Process
I love to travel. I want to see the world before I die. Not an unfair request I don't think. Having a child doesn't stop that per say, but it certainly changes it. Traveling with a kid is hard, it costs more money, and you will have to schedule each trip around them. And when they are with you that means you have to pay more attention to them then the actual place you are visiting.
Not having a kid will not stop you from having a family.
Just because you don't have children doesn't mean you will end up as the crazy cat lady. You can still get married, still have holidays packed full of loved ones, and you'll go to enough birthdays and plays to make you feel like you have your own kids. Your best friends kids will call you Aunt just as much as your actual nieces and nephews will. There will always be invitations to dinners and requests to baby sit for the weekend while your friends take a much needed break.
Not having your own kid will not stop you from being a parental figure. It is extremely important to remember this.
I am not here to tell you that being a mother is stupid or a life ruiner. Becoming a mother is life changing and one of the bravest things a women can do. You will experience everything in a new and amazing way!
But just because I do not want to be one does not make me any less of a woman. So stop telling me that I will be missing out, stop telling me that I will change my mind, because maybe I will, who knows?
But it shouldn't matter. Because shaming woman for not wanting to be a mother is just as bad as shaming women because they are gay. Not fitting into a confines of the typical female social structure is fine. The quicker people realize this the happier (and more equal) women will become.