Sometimes our lives get overwhelming, and we have to let off some steam. We work constantly, drain our energy, and create routines for ourselves that may be productive for a while, but just end up crippling us.
Our carefree days become a thing of the past and making money is the only reality we feel. In the afterlife we often forget that we've felt joy and adrenaline. We trade in those feelings for a good night's sleep and appropriate happiness.
Until we let go.
Last night I let go for the first time in a while. College overwhelmed me to the point that I became a highly functioning machine, working and living by the hours on a clock. Going to concerts or playing them myself has always been a great joy of mine. It's often the only thing that keeps me sane.
There is no thrill like waiting for your favorite band to go on stage. You can feel the crowd. Their hearts beat with you and for a second, the strangers that surround you are your family, your friends, your blood. When Fall Out Boy took the stage last night it was like for a moment I was free. I was free from self doubt. I was free from self loathing. I was even free from fear.
I jumped and danced and screamed the same way I did the first time I saw them in 2006. I was 14 then. I'm 22 now. So much has changed in those long years, but music, and the way I feel about it never will.
When you have a connection to a band, it's like a force greater than yourself. The melodies and lyrics connect you to immortality. They understand you. They embody your feelings, and for a moment when the lights go down and the crowd sways and sings as one, they bring you peace.
The concert itself was incredible. I've never heard them more clearly. The set went off without a hitch, and when they came back to do their encore something in me changed.
"Two more weeks/ my foot is in the door." Their song Saturday, one I first heard in 2005 when I was 13, had an extremely significant meaning. In two weeks I'm moving to New York City. My foot is in the door, waiting to leap into a new life, and Fall Out Boy was there to communicate that in a weird way. I screamed those lyrics with more guts and passion than ever before. It was like everyone around me was sharing my fear and excitement even though they didn't know me. The lyrics stuck out: "I read about the afterlife but I never really lived more than an hour."
Music is the closest thing to a religious experience I've ever had. Someday when you're in the darkness and you're scared or unsure, or sitting on an opportunity the songs you love will find you there. They'll get you through, but you must be willing to listen and ultimately let go.