I Bet You Want to Go to Brooklyn's Smallest Penis Pageant
American masculinity is meant to be about 'the bigger the better.' Big muscles, big cars, big wallets, and the big anxiety that comes with trying to live up to those ridiculous expectations of a society that wants a 'real man.'
So Brooklyn, the New York borough that aims to be the home of all the outcasts, oddities, and flannel of the world, has a little (pun intended?) festival that is here to ease some of those woes.
Welcome to Brooklyn's Smallest Penis Pageant
Started by Aimee Arciuolo, manager of Brooklyn's Kings County Bar, which hosts the event.
"One day, I happened to take a gentleman home and he had the smallest penis I had ever seen,"Arciuolo tells Rolling Stone. "And basically that man worked so hard for my pleasure that I remember telling my friends about it the next day, saying, 'We should throw a pageant for these guys, they work much harder than other guys.''
Now on it's third year and biggest (pun intended again?) yet, the pageant has turned into a legitimate event, with the contest itself being divided into three categories — formal wear, swimwear and a talent show that is, as Rolling Stone put it, "hilariously bawdy, over-the-top and even inspiring."
The contestants are all there for a good time. One of the top competitors, Rip Van Dinkle, randomly saw an blurb about this in the Huffington Post.
"That's when I realized I had a small penis and had never been to Brooklyn."