2 years ago
paulisadroid
in English ยท 7,135 Views
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How to Tell Strangers You Suffer From Depression
... You make a movie about it and show it to them.
When I was still in college, one of my requirements was to take a Film Production course. The project for our first month of the semester was to make a documentary and while my professor was introducing the topic, he said something like:
"Just pick a topic you'd consider yourself an expert in."
So, I obviously chose myself. I spent the last couple of years in a Community College taking speech classes and most of my speeches were about the way I go about my day suffering from depression. Most of it came from the fact that I didn't want people to hear that I had a mental illness from someone else.
I wanted to control it. I wanted to be the gatekeeper of that information, so to speak.
Spending those weeks filming myself, listening to myself speak, and editing myself was probably one of the weirdest (see: worst) experiences in my life. I initially wanted to have all the films I made in this class to bleed into one another (the very end of the documentary was supposed to open the beginning of the next film, you can watch it below) but that didn't turn out as planned.
Reliving that old experience was hard on me and it took a lot of my mental energy. So, trying to write two more movies about my (extremely) personal life became a herculean task that I couldn't even try to attempt. Instead, I spent the rest of the semester helping write and edit the films the rest of the class made.
www.youtube.com1DAA50E1-0355-420D-A1AD-2C244287F3DCCreated with sketchtool.
You don't necessarily have to make a movie about whatever you're suffering from in order to share that part of your life with others.

But you do need to accept it, live with it, and own it. It's who we are.

It's a fact about our lives now, okay? Nothing is wrong with you, alright? Sometimes it seems like society wants you to think everything is wrong with you but nothing is, okay? Are you listening to me? You're in control, I'm in control, we're in control of what people think of us, alright? I know, I know, I know. It gets hard, it does for me too. But you're not alone and neither am I, okay?
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