2 years ago
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Coping with Aggressive Change
In exactly one week from this moment I'll be boarding a one way flight to New York City all alone. I will land at JFK and start my life. All this time I've waited to get out of my little life in Ohio.
There's something to be said for recognizing when you've run something or somewhere to the absolute edge. You won't really know what it's like until you've been there. But it feels a little like you've run out of options. When I graduated from college I realized that all the friends I made and the decisions I came to would ultimately be a thing of the past. Yeah we can try to defend our selves against losing touch, but it's easier said than done. The people you really need will come around, but the ones who strayed from convenience and common decency are better left in the past.

This is where change becomes aggressive.

Like an airplane taking off change starts to jettison you into the unknown, whirring and spinning, not knowing which way to go. Change like transitioning from college to the AfterLife does not come easy. It's turbulent, rocky and doesn't come with an in-flight movie or honey roasted peanuts. It comes with guilt, longing and a whole lot of reevaluation of the things you did and the person you've become. Getting on this plane means two things: 1. I'm finally moving to the place I want to live for the rest of my life, and that's exciting. 2. I'm leaving everything I've ever known to be met with a huge city I know little about and people I haven't really met. Time can do funny things to people. It can make them more fearless than they'd like to admit. Being in a new place is always an opportunity to reinvent right? Nobody really knows you so you can create a new reality. The concept of that can also be dangerous. You don't want to get locked into someone you're not either. But to improve and put your best self out there is not a bad idea. In acting school in college you work hard to expose yourself to your peers and the audience as a vessel for emotion. In the work place you strive for efficiency. Most of the time in life we cover things up too, never revealing the truth about our future, ourselves and the realities we choose.

In the Afterlife the things you learn and the things you use rarely are the same.

Regardless, having the courage to start again is half the battle. No matter if you're moving home or somewhere else, you have to take it in stride and live steadily. Getting on this plane will change everything I've ever known, and right now looking out my window in Ohio, I think that's a great thing.
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