Whenever we find ourselves alone we start to panic, thinking we will be that way forever.
When our friends move away or we move away the background becomes the foreground. We're not sure about the place were going, or how we got there but were there. What's harder than being alone is adjusting to the idea of it. When you don't have anyone that is a quick phone call away and you are forced to deal with things on your own, that's when the fear and loathing returns from whatever cave you threw it into. It's in the moments that we are alone with our thoughts that the truth comes alive. And that truth is terrifying. In order to defend ourselves from it we have to lie.
Deep in the shadows of our minds where the light never touches is our own personal truth. It's the place where we must live with what we've done, good or bad. My truth as of late has been dealing with the fact that I will soon be in a new place all alone. Without the core group of friends I created as a safety net, I will only have myself to contend with.
The only person I'm seriously afraid of is myself. I am the most destructive force in my own life and sometimes, the rationale you put into place to convince yourself to do the right thing just isn't enough. How do we deal with our tendencies to rationalize the things we do wrong? How do we continue to let ourselves off the hook? Well, we tell ourselves little lies. Lying to yourself is essential for survival. The things that can hurt us often have a deep tie to the truth. When we can't accept something we often create some sort of safety net around it. We have to do this in order to cope with reality, the harshest thing of all. We lie about our grades and how we're doing with money. We lie to ourselves about our relationships to others. We lie to ourselves about how we stack up amongst our peers. Lies can help our egos, but can lead to false living too. Of course you have to be careful, but the little lies you tell yourself like "today was a good day" even though it wasn't, can help you survive. So when you leave your nest and start a new life somewhere else, just tell yourself that things will be fine, regardless of the uncertainty and danger. These little lies save us from letting our adventures go by. Lies can save us from the destruction of ourselves.