2 years ago
cullenquigley
in English · 7,947 Views
likes 8clips 1comments 2
Amy Schumer is being stalked by a hawk and it's the funniest thing on the Internet.
Amy Schumer has a new friend and his name is 'Hawk'. Duh. He seems pretty chill as he sits outside her hotel window like, "Hey dude, what's happening?" That's how I imagine a hawk would talk. But he keeps coming back to see Amy and her friend, Jennifer, and it's getting progressively funnier as the week goes. The hawk just wants to make some new friends gosh.

Well this is Hawkward.


It all started with this one tweet.
And then it continued into face high-fiving the floor, lots of laughter, and that nonchalant comment that says, " I'm not scared at all, it's just a very large bird with big talons that could rip my face off but it's fine because I'm smart and bad things don't happen to me because I'm from the suburbs. Yay." But obviously the hawk needs the music "I believe I can flyyyyyyyy" when he spreads his wings because otherwise the lift off would be totally mediocre. Like who would want to fly away without some blast off music? NO ONE.

THE HAWK IS BACK. I REPEAT THE HAWK IS BACK.


Get a cage. I would seriously pay to watch Amy attack the hawk with a broom. But whatever you do Amy, stay away from the window. And Jen, leaving the patio door open is all your fault (ps I really don't know who's fault it was so I'm not pointing fingers..totally you). Be safe and don't die! xoxo
cullenquigley clipped in 3 collections
2 comments
Omg, hawks freak the hell out of me too. We have so many hawks where I live, and they've been known to pick up people's chihuahuas. I WISH I WERE KIDDING.