Items you Need in the Wilderness to Hide From the Police
In case you missed the big news in the past month, two prisoners escaped from a high-security prison in New York 23 days ago.
The first escapee Richard Matt, was found and killed Friday near Malone, New York. The second one, David Sweat, was found near the Canadian border yesterday, shot, and is now in police custody.
The police that were tracking these men worked tirelessly for 23 straight days, using primarily dogs to track the prisoners scent. They scoured the woods in upstate New York and close to the Canadian border. But how were they able to hide from the police for so long?
Let me tell you the answer so we can all make some scents of this... They used pepper to mask their smell from the dogs.
I know what you are thinking: “What?! How could a condiment help a prisoner? There are more important things for an escapee to have...like money, a fake ID, and a weapon.” But hey now, don’t take my word for it. Listen to the police said about the pepper working:
“We did have difficulty tracking, so it was fairly effective in that respect,” a New York police official said. “If you were writing a movie plot, they would say that this was overdone.”
The plot of this track-down does seem like a movie. So it was interesting to see their weird use of props. I decided to take the liberty to cast some other props that the prisoners probably should’ve used in order to stay away from police.
Here’s my list of items that the prisoners could’ve used:
1. Clown Costume
Everyone thinks clowns are super casual and fun! If the prisoners could get their hands on a clown outfit everyone would be like, “Awww look a clown!” and the police wouldn’t suspect a thing. Even if the clown was just chilling in a barn in the woods.
This one is classic. As a kid who was a big fan of reenacting movies, adding ketchup was a instant disguise for blood and death. The prisoners could just add ketchup all over themselves, and when the investigators came they would already think they were dead! "Look mom and I can’t go to prison I’m already bleeding!"
3. Poo Pourri
If anyone hasn’t used this product, you probably should. It’s absolutely can mask all that yucky poo smell...so I imagine this miracle product can also mask the smell of two older men that escaped from prison, and have been living in the wood for 23 days! I mean come on! It’s got a stink-free guarantee!
4. Barrak Obama Mask
There’s nothing cooler than dressing up like the president. The police might find the prisoners but then they would be like “ohhh hey don’t arrest that guy he’s the president.” And then the prisoners would then be able to go off and take over as rulers of the United States of America.
Any other weird props I’m missing? I feel like the prisoners could’ve survived a lot longer if they had these items...or maybe that’s just me...