2 years ago
cullenquigley
in English · 56,055 Views
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If Minions Were Real People
Have you ever wondered what it'd be like if Minions ran the world?
Well I have provided just that. Below has been my interpretation of the following Minion characters if you were to approach them Humans of New York style. Each has their own unique story to share. So, check it out!

Meet Dave.

Minion : Bello. Labada muggey Twaxis ka ta emedee. Mi koi metmen me a ham wich yee do cookies. Ka kaylay da nupi mi oes da urbeth ryesax yee mi nanhoe, Becky, da a bogsup owefa. Traba hego bem poppadom hawram ba mat. Ta meja polqis tipa ba mat tos noor pa okeodd fem ask coated nunu ta balget.
Translation : Hello. It's another Tuesday at the office. My wife packed me a ham sandwich and two cookies. I have to take my son to soccer practice and my daughter, Becky, to a doctors appointment this afternoon. Work has been pretty normal this week. The most exciting thing that happened this week was our pie charts were color-coated for the presentation.

Meet Kevin.

Minion : NAG EEn DA!!! Dos nan rag recha bada, pal! DEEp TO VERlo PAK SWING?? Ka meeno Ka tos sola ellabs ta pas dad. Ko Ka gaysou mi gat, rig a yak de ta eel een ell de me, yee pen BAM. Sola ko pak. Het gadmu to, argyle sweaters nobif ponga to een baylez com ta jugo.
Translation : HOLE IN ONE!!! That's an eagle right there, pal! DID YOU SEE THAT SWING? I mean I was just feeling the club today. Like I planted my feet, took a scan of the view in front of me, and then BAM! Just like that. I'm telling you, argyle sweaters really put you in connection with the ball.

Meet Susie.

Minion : Bel. Het 7 yee a vau. Respin 8. Mi mom was me pak Ka pudum kaylay a banana flavored bak nunu mi oflit eye labada mi lamkeg. Bada tos ba minion doll en gam pak Ka nobif quer nunu mi oflit yee Het pata da nomba la Daisy. Het roopa een umcam borko pelo mi hihm was me pak mi cob traba tis ta obe een ta leko. Teal tis mi lamkeg ask. Deep to cono teal tis zuza yee tav ton together?? Ka ababro pak een cob leko.
Translation : Hi. I'm 7 and a half. Almost 8. My mom told me that I can have a banana flavored cake for my birthday since it's my favorite. There was this minion doll on tv that I really want for my birthday and I'm going to name her Daisy. I'm still in elementary school but my teacher told me that my art work is the best in the class. Teal is my favorite color. Did you know teal is blue and green mixed together? I learned that in art class.

Meet Cecilia.

Minion : Ka batooay non dub Lapwye.
Translation : No hablo Inglés.
Translation's Translation : I do not speak English.

Meet Frank.

Minion : MOVA PIk SIf BED PIk HUMA TO KAYLay DA CROCO TA YUPTAO EEn NAn ORDERLY BOWAPP NO COOpEe GO GANhIE BATNUS AKa TA NOTPAC SIDEWALK RADBAD TENGa TU YOKPYE EN LEASHES NO ZUZ MIKLo BE UNATTENDED KAYLay A GOPA DIA SAW AMEe MUBLai FET BAtooay Ka KAYLay DA TOPA TO COOpEe GO!!!
Translation : MOVE IT OR LOSE IT PEOPLE YOU HAVE TO CROSS THE STREET IN AN ORDERLY FASHION LADY LET'S GO YOU'RE TAKING UP THE ENTIRE SIDEWALK PLEASE KEEP YOUR CHILDREN ON LEASHES NO DOGS MUST BE UNATTENDED HAVE A GREAT DAY FOLKS HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU LET'S GO!!!

Meet Dot.

Minion : Bel. Het up. Radbad no pic photography. Tew linerg pak tadda de mi momjoe miklo be teklom da mi isko gua. Het la blessed. Bida, Het mido ba daga newhop nut feguin labada tadda ta rage. Ka sola tenga gadmu tokas pak nut yee guntux kapee tis ta via da linda pak verna ahi. Mi daga dag tau oda kapee ba mat. Labada colcub "Minnie Minion", linda it?? Feguin to linda minnie kan to ads for. Mi bed hid pik.
Translation : Hi. I'm dot. Please no autographs. I've decided that all of my pictures must be taken from my left side. I'm so blessed. Look, I'm doing this new organic diet because it's all the rage. I just keep telling everyone that diet and working out is the way to get that summer body. My new cook book comes out this week. It's called "Minnie Minion", get it? Because you get minnie when you eat less. My agent loved it.

Unknown Name.

Minion : Could Not Be Determined.
Translation : *rawr* *ughhhhhhhh* *erg*

Meet Sam.

Minion : Bida, Tew gad a ta de errec een mi levo, okay?? Ta cala tis mi feep via yee Tew dinjet pak Ka takan aloo een lugo nunu mas pan a foop saw. To sola gotta linda kapee bada yee pave tu via. Tenga livin', ar.
Translation : Look, I've seen a lot of things in my life, okay? The road is my highway and I've realized that I can't stay in place for more than a few weeks. You just gotta get out there and pave your way. Keep livin', kid.

Meet Chad.

Minion : Batooay to lega mus bro?? Dude, Het een aca alga yinauk ka 6 am.. Rasfey tadda cama mi hun. Ka whip aka a meeno jobyon lag nunu ruelad. Bananas nunu pus. Yee pen yay Ka kaylay tem peanut shatsk en a a banana wich temer a traba kapee. Ka domo rib skip ho dia yee Het tadda cama kashah urpout. Prompo to pudum nop en a kay, Ka mo da nupi a pehyup selfie.
Translation : Do you even lift bro? Dude, I'm in here every morning at 6 a.m. Today's all about my core. I whip up a mean protein shake for breakfast. Bananas for lunch. And then maybe I'll have some peanut butter on a a banana sandwich after a work out. I don't ever skip leg day and I'm all about making progress. Now you can hold on a sec, I need to take a mirror selfie.

Meet Cornelius.

Minion : ma heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh...
Translator : muhahahhahahahahahahhahhahahahahahhaahahahah...

Meet Charles.

Minion : Minions de ta Vatfet Elsree de Minion nobif nama exquisite. Ka kaylay nopa aha a mas banana obsessed vieors. To kaylay ta aceyam villains een ta globo eve ganhie moka kafar mac mucha agei da rinsop pik. Het pata da kaylay da topa Won Pismet bok een ta Vatfet Minion cama mi travels, yay she'll rinsop noor hajzoa tis dif een fitfem Ameriminions ta zagass fagton de ta wigjag aga.
Translation : Peoples of the United States of Minion really are exquisite. I have never met a more banana obsessed nation. You have the greatest villains in the world yet you're having far too much fun to realize it. I'm going to have to tell Queen Elizabeth back in the United Minion about my travels, maybe she'll realize our investment is truly in supplying Ameriminions the proper supply of the yellow fruit.

Meet Stewart.

Minion : Banana ...heh heh heh
Translation : Banana ...hahahaha
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