There aren't many times we encounter a real goodbye. Most are see you laters, see you soons, or just see you around. But for you it was good bye, and you acted like it wasn't. But I knew.
I had it all planned. I wanted it to be romantic, I wanted it to change your mind, I wanted our good bye to make us meaningful. I wanted our goodbye to make you want me to stay.
But it was rushed in the hallway and I didn't look in a mirror but I knew my face was blotchy, streaked red and wet from the tears.
I had it all planed but I didn't even get to tell you I loved you. Not out loud, although you knew. I had told you in so many other ways. But I had it planned out, I was going to say it to you and you were going to say it back.
But I was crying to hard and you grabbed my face and gave me a kiss, and it was the first time you kissed me outside of your room. It was the first time you kissed me where people could see.
And it was the moment I knew that was it. That was the last kiss from you, the last time we would make eye contact, the last time I knew I would be yours. Because it was then I knew that you were never mine.
So I said good bye and walked out. I looked back once to see if you watched me leave, but I didn't see you.