Hello, my name is the Phantom. You may also know me as the man behind the mask, OG (opera ghost), or the Angel of Music. As the lead in the super-successful broadway musical, I know all about love and emotion. Keep your hands at the level of your eyes and make sure to pay attention to my counsel. The Phantom of the Opera is here to give you all a little love advice:
1. Love her from Afar
No need for romantic dates or actually meeting in person, because true love creeps around and follows you everywhere! Essentially don’t talk to her unless you pretend to be the ghost of her dead father. Coach her to be the best and most talented singer at the opera. Make sure she comes to you for everything: life advice, career advice, and relationship advice.
2. Seduce Her with Your Voice
All ladies love a man who sings. No need to seduce her with your looks when you can SING TO HER SOUL. This works only when she’s alone though, so make sure no ones around.
3. Take Her on Your Sweet Ride
I mean...We’re on a boat. The ladies love boats.
4. Ignore the Fact that She has a Super Hot Boyfriend
He’s her childhood friend turned super-successful hottie. He’s strong and can protect her, and he also sing really well, but you were there first!
5. ...But Know When to Let Her Go
She’s everything you want in a girl. She’s perfect and sings beautifully. But she’s not into you the way you are. You put up a fight for her, but you also should know when to just let her go. Because that’s true love right?