[Subject has let his hair grow out. He is rubbing his temples with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. Wearing collared shirt. Lights cigarette.]
You ever just, like, talk to someone and stare at their lips, you know? Like you can't focus on anything except the hole where their words escape. Yeah, yeah, yeah! She was talking to me about her life or whatever, like how she was anticipating her boyfriend coming to visit, you know? I was, you know, just nodding along and [laughs] missing bits and pieces of her story. But, like, you know. She had nice lips, man [laughs harder].
No, no, not at all. I don't think it was an entirely sexual thing, like, you ever, like, meet someone and they're a lot more attractive than you are and you just want to appreciate that fact. And, like, you it's like you're sitting and talking to a Greek or Roman statue. Like, what the fuck? It's just, like, I mean, I know being a guy and everything you stare at a girl it comes off as entirely sexual but fuck that, you know? [pauses] Did I just say "butt fuck"? [laughs]
I don't know, I mean I'm not even sure if I'm capable of "liking" someone or "like-liking" them. It's like what I said last time, you know? It's sort of a childish, like real high school thing to do, to go around and meet people and, like, wonder if they like you or like-like you or -- even worse -- like-like-like, like, you. And she was talking to me about her boyfriend.
[laughs] No, that hasn't stopped me before. There was this one girl, you know? We dated for a really, really, long time, and, um, like, yeah, when we met she had a boyfriend or whatever. He was a Marine, you know? So, like, he was a lot bigger than me and I was really afraid of getting the shit beat out of me but sometimes, like, the heart wants what the heart wants. So, anyway, he came back from overseas and he was like, this broken person [pauses]. Oh man, this is so fucked up, whatever, they won't see this right? Okay, good. But, like, [name redacted] was venting to me about how he's different and how she's worried he might've started doing drugs or whatever. I didn't judge but, like, then she kept going on and on and, like, I of course was staring at her lips but she noticed and was like, "what?" and I'm not usually like this, but I smiled and just, you know, planted one on her. And she looked at me stunned and I apologized and told her how I've been thinking about doing that for the past seven years and, like, she grabbed me by the back of my neck and we made out on the couch. We dated for a year or so after that. But, yeah, I feel kind of fucked up for the guy, you know? I don't know what happened to him.
Yeah, I know. It was a weird situation. But fuck it, like, sometimes you just gotta do what your heart tells you to, you know? [pauses again]. Shit, I said "butt fuck" again, didn't I?