4 years ago500+ Views
@VinMcCarthy Thanks again for the challenge!
Down the 12th isle of some random bookstore, my entire soul is flooded with the presence of a single word. "Fuck!" Of course it's you. After all, it was you who showed me the everlasting joy from submerging yourself into the stark solitude we find in these types of places. I walked in here searching for some book to tickle my fancy; instead gravity became so vengeful that my heart plummets towards the earth's core. Within a nanosecond that same muscle nudges me back into reality. My hands are shaking. You're splattered with pink roses, yellow tulips, and some red flowers I cannot recognize. Spring has just begun and like always you cover yourself with her colors. Keeping my distance, I stare. Last time you and I were under the same roof your mother slapped me. Who would've guessed saying "I love you" can cause someone to hate you. It was the last time because you chose your family over me, something impossible to hold against you. You look in my direction, but you cannot see me. I have become an invisible creature. Small and overlooked. A boy with shity hair and flip-flops mesmerizes you. Tacky and scrawny is what I see in him. But you smile. You look happy. Maybe I really was only just a phase?
Great! I felt like I was lurking next to the narrator, trying to be noticed while also trying to blend in.
this is dope! I like the use of detail in describing the colors she adorns herself with, and the perception by the narrator of her new beau with the shitty hair. I'd only suggest maybe describing a little more the bookstore, giving us a real sense of the space they are occupying. all in all, a great piece.