Oops! You Stayed Up All Night Reading Fanfiction (Again)
Some people just don't get it.
You found a 100K word fic with your favorite tropes and pairings AND it's well-written. The sequel to your favorite fic series just came out and you have to know how it ends. You're pretty sure that John and Sherlock are going to end up together, but you really need to read the whole thing to be certain. Suddenly it's 2am and you're still not done and you have to be up for work in four hours and maybe just one more chapter...
It happens. All. The. Time.
And in a perfect world calling in late 'because fanfiction' would be a valid excuse, you're probably going to need to get it together before you venture out into the world again. Here's what to do:
Drink some water friend.
Maybe you were bawling uncontrollably because some evil fic writer hurt your bae. Or maybe those were tears of joy because everything worked out okay. Honestly, no matter what you're probably dehydrated after a marathon night reading fanfiction. Drink a glass of water, and then drink another one.
Grab a snack.
Did you lose track of time so completely that you have to run out the door? Yeah, you probably did. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day buddy. Grab something tasty to eat so you'll only be craving your otp for the rest of the day.
Douse your brain in bleach.
That disturbing fic that was too good not to finish? Yeah it's awesome, send me a link, but it's probably not the best topic of conversation at work or school. Brain bleach is selective, use enough of it so that you won't accidentally talk about that hs au abo ot3 fic you found with your boss, but not so much that you forget (to send me a link).
You can take it with you.
You have to know how it ends. I get it. Take it with you. Archive of Our Own has a bunch of download options, copy-paste that livejournal entry or ff.net chapter into a word document and convert it to a pdf, read it on your phone- print it out if you have to (90s kid style). Do whatever you have to do.
We have all been there.
You need caffeine.
Channel every coffeeshop au you can think of and grab some coffee. Pretend you're not tempted to close your eyes and dream about your otp for the rest of the afternoon. Resist the temptation. I believe in you.
The crummy obligations of your real life will soon be over, and then you can return to what really matters: reading fanfiction. I'll be right there with you, leaving comments like 'HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME' and suffering the exquisite pain of an otp angst fic.