Family is the most important thing in everybody’s life. You spend a lot of time with them, and they are the ones who know you best. So if you have problems, they are always the ones, who you can turn to. I do not want to be mean. I really love my family, they mean a lot to me. But when it comes to saving me, you are always the one, who does the job.
We have been best friends for more then three years now, but yet I feel like I have known you my whole life. I trust you more, than I trust anyone else. A lot of times I wish we could all go back, and prevent all these things happening. But then if I think about it even though we have been friends for years, I never realized how much you mean to me. I get that now, when so much is lost. If I look at the entire situation, at everything that happened, that is happening, and that is about to happen, I would have to say, you have it worse than me. I know I do not show that, but deep down I am aware of that.
For the last few months you have always been there for me. When I was depressed, when I was sad, when I was lost, when I was about to do something stupid, right after I did something stupid, when I was drugged... And I am so grateful for that, much more then you know. I get so angry at myself, because I do not do the same for you. And it is one of my biggest wishes, to help you. To stand beside you, like you have always done for me, and still do. But the same old story is written every time something bad happens. And it does not matter if it happens to me or to you, or to anyone else. In the end it is always the same. I always break down. And no matter how much I try to forget about myself, and concentrate on you, I always end up fucked up. I know it seems selfish of me, but I do not do that because I would want to make it all about me. I am doing that out of guilt. Because I feel responsible for so many bad things, that have happened to you. I know it is not all my fault, but you can not say I did not make things worse. I know everything you say, is because you want me to feel better, because you are my best friend. Sometimes I think it would be better, if I went away. Not because we have problems, but because I feel I do not deserve your friendship. And yet, I can not imagine my life without you.
You are the one who always stood, still stands and I hope will always stand beside me. You are the only real best friend I have ever had in my life. You are the person who I feel closest to. You are to one who reads me the best. You are the one who always saves me. And I could not wish for more. I hope the day will come, when I will be able to return you everything you have ever done for me,and everything you are about to do. Because lets face it, I will always need you.