Okay as you know G-Dragon is my ultimate bias like no joke he will forever be #1. No matter what he does. I will still love him and admire him, and be thankful for him and his music and his existence. Even if he quits making music and till the day I die.
For 6 years now I have been having father problems and my relationship with my father has only gotten worse. Like I have been in counseling for a year now and my counselor says we need family counseling but dad won't do it. I got put in counseling on year 5 of my depression because I gave in to it.
3 months before school started in 2014 and 2? 3? weeks in school I gave in to self harm (IM CLEAN NOW I PROMISE) it was all against my will, I didn't want to, I didn't my depression to win, but no one was willing to help. It also didn't help that a girl called me a lesbian and made it a rumor and it spread across the school in a day. And my parents found out about my self harm because the office called them. How the office found out? The girl who called me a lesbian made it a rumor and someone herd it and told them.
I'm gonna be honest I didn't expect my parents to care. Dad was too self centered and mum was too busy treating my dad like he's her god. But my mum to my surprise was crying when she came to pick me up and the whole time she was in the office as they talked to her about where I will be going for counseling.
Counseling helped me. Well I thought anyway. I feel, again! Yes. In April of this year things only got worse. All my efforts in school were wasted. Why? I don't know, I'm starting to think the teachers Just don't like me. But I also herd a friend of mine attempted suicide and another I thought hated me and didn't want anything to do with me, and she hardly talks to me anymore (she was a friend for years) and my dad got more hate full toward me and everyday I woke up to dad yelling at my mum for no reason.
But mid May I started having vivid thoughts of self harm and suicide, and my depression got so bad it felt as if it was its own being. I was so scared to sleep to be honest and finals were coming up. What caused depression was father problems, and the loss of contact with my friend.
I made friends with a teacher and she loved anime and K-pop. She pulled me out during my study hall everyday the whole school year to help me with my work. She liked K-pop and every now and then she'd recommend artist and songs. I really got into G-Dragon and BIGBANG near mid May. Because of G-Dragon I got pulled out of my depression and was willing to talk to people around me.
I met Delaney and she is the most caring and genuine friend I ever had. And both me and her love BIGBANG. But I'm happy to have her as a friend because she's there to help me. To be honest she's One of my Hero's. But my main hero is G-Dragon if I hadn't found out about him I would most likely be in a hospital or put in Netcare. He's why I still have clean wrist and still alive. I'm a year clean as of September. Yes my depression is still here but it's as strong as before. G-Dragon is why I am able and am willing to fight it. I haven't given up because of him.
I know if I ever meet him I will most likely cry tears of happiness so I will write a thank you letter for him. I would also love to thank my friend Delaney for helping me when I need it most. She's more of a mother than a friend tbh. When I saw this past Friday I was crying tears of happiness X'D she's the friend everyone wants. And I met her because of G-Dragon pulling me out of depression.
So now you know my story and why I love G-Dragon. If any of you want to share you story please do so, I'm curious on what K-pop has done for you.