2 years ago
rodiziketan
in English · 13,308 Views
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Where Do We Belong?
I got a text message from someone, who had been a big part of my life, asking me “where do we belong?” It is funny, it was from a person who I thought I will spend my whole life with. One way or another. I did not know the answer, so I did not reply. But I have been thinking about this question ever since. After a week, I think I finally came up with the answer. Well, sort of. It was not easy, I have to admit. At first I thought, we do not belong anywhere, especially not somewhere together. I mean, if we managed to drift so far apart that we do not even talk to each other anymore, I guess we did not belong anywhere together. But I was wrong. The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that we actually are together, somewhere. It is not like we went there, because we wanted to. But somehow we ended up there. And we are stuck. I mean, it is not a coincident, that a week after I wrote the Believers vs. Non-believers, I got a text message from you, saying you have become one of them, the non-believers. It seems like even though we do not talk to each other anymore, we still are connected, we still think about the same things. I guess we really were as close as two people can be. So after I figured we belong somewhere together, I started thinking about where that somewhere is. I still can not exactly define where that place is, or what it is, all I know is, it is hellish. I am not sure how many other people are here, in this place. But as far as I know, people who get pushed into this place, made some big mistakes in their lives. Mistakes, which are well connected to the closest people around them. And now we are being punished for that. So even if the place is crowded with people, which I think it is, we do not get the chance to see them, to talk to them, to meet them… But it is probably for the best. If we fucked up the best relationships we have ever had in our lives, of course we do not get a second chance. We do not deserve it. I am still not sure about escaping from this place. But I better hope that it is an option. And at the moment, hope is all I got. So even though we drifted apart, so far apart, we actually still are really close together. Just like we used to be. It is our punishment not to see that, not to feel that. And it is the worst thing ever. I feel so close to you, but yet I feel so far away from you.
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