In Defense Of New Jersey
New Jersey gets a bad rep. It's the butt of every joke. People call it the 'armpit of America', and what's the difference between Jersey girls and trash? Trash actually gets picked up, of course.
Growing up in New Jersey, we all kind of knew that the rest of the country thought we were lame. However, regardless of our reputation, most of us couldn't be prouder to be from our peanut-shaped state. Want to know why? Here's why. We've got shopping malls for days!
You want clothes? We got clothes. Food courts? Fountains? Arcades? Yeah, we've got all that covered. Head over to Palisades Center Mall (which, to be fair, is in New York, but like, barely, okay?!), and you can go to a mall with its very own FERRIS WHEEL. You think New York pizza is good? You've never been to Jersey.
The Italian food in Jersey is unsurpassed perfection. Like, sure, you've got some great restaurants in NYC, but where do you think these guys' Sicilian nonnas live? That's right. In Jersey. We're eating cannoli so authentic that it's straight from your grandma. Our communities are bursting with culture.
New Jersey has the third largest immigration population in the country, which means that our communities are incredibly diverse. When we're in school, we learn so much about each other's cultures, and in turn, gain a broader, more developed worldview. The Statue of Liberty is ours. Sorry, New York.
So when people think of New York City, one of the things that they think of is the Statue of Liberty. What a lot of people DON'T know is the Statue of Liberty is technically in Jersey City, as the NJ/NY border is right down the middle of the Hudson. We have Wawa. You guys. WE HAVE WAWA.
I'll be honest. I actually didn't live next to a Wawa when I lived in Jersey, but whenever we'd go on road trips through the state, we'd stop at a Wawa on the way. Who knew that a hoagie from a touch-screen vending machine could be as delicious as this?! Visiting the shore? Visit your Monopoly property in person.
So if you've played Monopoly, you know all about the Boardwalk, Park Place, Atlantic Avenue, etc. But did you know that all the streets on the board were named after actual streets in Atlantic City? Oh yeah, get some salt water taffy while you're there, too. We gave you Paul Rudd, Shaq, Danny Devito, and Meryl Streep.
We even gave you Fetty Wap, Kevin Smith, and the guy who wrote Game of Thrones. Hey, other states, we're getting stuff done. What have you done for us lately, huh? Our accent strikes fear into the hearts of men.
Thanks to The Sopranos and classic mafia movies like The Godfather and Goodfellas, when people outside of Jersey hear our accent, we sound aggressive as hell. Even when we're harmless. Which is good because talking's cheaper than buying pepper spray. So who else here is from Jersey (or who's visited)? Are you a Jersey fan or just another lowlife gavone?
And if you think where YOU live is superior, feel free to make your very own 'In Defense Of' card giving your home state a little love.