3 years ago1,000+ Views


This quaint Illinois town has been turned on its head this week as local teenager Tyler Crawford has been revealed to be some manner of transcendental interstellar being.
This discovery was made this past Sunday, July 12, while the young man was engaging in the use of illegal narcotics with some friends of his. According to childhood friend Alexis Beekman, Crawford seemed to "start glowing from the inside, through his skin."
At first just believing that the intended effect of the narcotics was taking hold, Beekman thought no more of the issue until several hours later, when Crawford was not only glowing, but his "face vanished into darkness under his hoodie, and the glow became more like stars."
Reportedly, through all of this, Crawford was still behaving normally, seemingly ignorant of the changes taking place with his own body. Beekman relates that she began fearing for her friend, as he now seemed to resemble a solar system more than a human being at this point.
Beekman opened her compact so as to show Crawford what was happening, after he refused to believe what she was telling him. Upon seeing his visage reflected back to him, Crawford began to panic, causing electrical failures everywhere within a half mile of their location.
Crawford has been unable to comment, as he is house-bound by his parents, who say they've grounded him for the use of mind and potentially body-altering drugs.