2 years ago
shannonl5
in English · 1,198 Views
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Flash Fiction Challenge: Last Talk
Thanks for tagging me in your challenge @VinMcCarthy I love these! I know @LizArnone went really morbid last week and I fear it's my turn to do the same.
For those who haven't seen it yet, this week the challenge is: "Two people have gathered, and for whatever reason, this will be the last time they will be able to speak with one another. Using dialogue, tell us who these people are, why this is their last talk, and anything else you see fit. 360 words."

I'm calling this one: Last Rites.

"It's softer that way."
"What?"
"Gentler, I mean."
I don't get it. "How?"
"It's just like falling asleep. That's what I want. To fall asleep after a particularly hard day."
"When you fall asleep, you wake up later."
She shrugs. "That's the problem."
I shake my head. "Why me? You could have asked-"
"Not really. Nobody wants to."
"You asked?"
"No." She takes a sip of water. "I just know. Ma would gasp and tell me I'm crazy. Pop would get angry, you know. I guess that's why you, actually. Because you know. You were there with me. Held my hand and stuff."
I grimace. "That's unfair of you."
She smirks like the bully she is.
"Why?"
"Because what if I wanted the same thing? Then I'll have to do it all alone, with nobody to know where to find me, after."
"Sure." She puts her glass down. "I'm the selfish one."
I choke.
"That's not what I mean."
She licks her lips for a second. "Yes it is," she finally says.
"Fine," I whisper. "Fine. That's what I mean." She nods for me to go on. "I'll miss you. I'll be lonely."
She bites her tongue.
"I know."
"And what if- what am I supposed to do?"
"Don't tell anyone. For a day maybe. I'm not sure how long it will take."
I shrug.
"I'm not a doctor."
She sighs.
"I want to. Now. While the moon is out."
I want her to stay.
"Do you want this?" I offer her the remains of the barely-touched doughnut on my plate. "For the road?"
She smiles.
"Nah. Won't need it where I'm headed."
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Thanks @LizArnone I appreciate your comment ^_^
2 years ago·Reply
10
this is awesome! great use of dialogue to tell the story. It's good, it's understated, it's ultimately devastating. the use of images is also super evocative. A+, yo.
2 years ago·Reply
30
Thank you @VinMcCarthy you're so kind!
2 years ago·Reply
20
I don't get it who is this
2 years ago·Reply
10
I was thinking about a brother and sister @sixgirlsmomma but it is a little ambiguous ^_^
2 years ago·Reply
10