LizArnone
2 years ago5,000+ Views
Stop Blaming The Other Woman
You start tip toeing up the stairs, planning to surprise him with chicken noodle soup because he was sick all weekend. You brought their favorite movie, cozy socks and your trusty humidifier. You somehow manage to slip upstairs quietly, even with your arms packed with goodies too cheer up your favorite guy in the world.
But you start to hear nosies coming from his room, the one where you have your own drawer and a toothbrush in the connecting bathroom. You know a picture of you two on your 1 year anniversary is posted on his mirror.
Wondering what is wrong behind the door you push it open with your foot, hands still full, and hear a girlish yell and a naked body toppling to the floor. You stare at him for a split second, sheet covering him up, hand out stretched attempting to what, calm you down?
You don't pay attention and run straight across the rook, grab their hair, and rip the other woman out of the bedroom.
Trust me, I would be livid too. Cheaters are pretty much the scum of the earth but heres my question.

Why do we always blame the other woman?

We spend our time resenting, plotting and shit talking the girl he cheated with meanwhile, she isn't the one whose at the most fault! Yes, maybe they did know that he was in a relationship, which makes them a bad person.
But they were not the ones dating you.
They were not the ones who took your trust and completely threw it away. Who told you they loved you, cared about you, wanted you. They weren't the ones you betrayed you.
I'm not here saying to befriend the other woman because honestly, she sucks too. But I am saying that if there is someone to be mad at (aka get revenge), its him.
We need to stop believing that boys only stray because other girls seduce them.
They stray because they wanted to. They stray because they think they can. So yes, be mad at everyone involved, but make sure you know who deserves the most blame.
And please, don't let them convince you that it wasn't their fault. Because that just makes them a cheater and a pansy.
Just remember, you deserve someone who will wake up every day and fall more in love with you. You deserve someone who will do everything just to make you smile.
You deserve someone who gets sick to their stomach at the thought of kissing someone else.
And you shouldn't forgive or put up with anything less.
11 comments
You are right in so many ways. One thing I'd like to add though is that in long-term relationships (5 years+) you should also evaluate what happened in the relationship from both sides yours and his.
2 years ago·Reply
@dreemer13 I kno a last who did the same thing. I think it's big of you
2 years ago·Reply
@LauraFisher I watched that movie.I loved it
2 years ago·Reply
@drea4u @TerrecaRiley i totally get what you guys are saying, cheating sometimes happens when there is something wrong with the relationship, i just think that better communicating could help solve the issues (even if that means ending it) would work so much better then cheating. And it would even in the long run be less hurtful
2 years ago·Reply
I agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY! Maybe i went a Little Bonkers when my "Husband" had an affair... But not in the way of blowing stuff up. I mean... Yeah he cheated. "So what!" I had dreams and wishes of being with someone else. So not the answer I know... And totally different. I know! But i only found out because my 6th sense wouldnt leave me alone. Wheni confronted the Both of them... I gave them a way out, a way to tell the truth, so we could all move on... Because in part... I was as much to blame as he was... But i was going to school in the A M and working at night... So does not justify the action! I agree. So she ended up pregnant... What did I do... I did what any "SECURE WOMAN" would do! "I MOVED HER IN. Took her to all he Dr.'s appointments. Made him buy the baby's crib carseat clothes diapers and set up the nursery." And when the baby was born i made him hold her change her keep her and love her! Meanwhile i told the Mother. "Ok you have a chiice to make... Either you take your baby and deal with the every other weekend and child-support , or you go to school gain a career and leave and do the first choice or you leave all in all and dont come back, but you will not take his daughter from him. Your choice" Well she went to school finished HS but she wanted him too.. I gave him the choice at the dinner table... Me at the head him to my left her to my right and my daughters with the baby at the other end. He looked at her and said "Im not leaving my wife for you, i will help with the baby, but you were a mistake." Its been about going on 5 yrs now the baby will be 4 and she drives me crazy every single day! But i will make sure that she has EVERYTHING she deserves!!! "Am I crazy for doing it that way?" As for her mother, she is around but not as much.
2 years ago·Reply
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