Maybe you're 'that' kind of hipster. Maybe you're going to Lollapalooza next week and are afraid you're going to get hungry during Florence + The Machine. Maybe you're a novice hunter, wanting to enjoy the carnal glory of wearing your first kill. Rolled into rosebuds of salt-preserved pork loaf. On your head.
No matter the reason, the ham rose flower crown is here.
Drunk DIY: Ham Rose Flower Crowns
From Lucky Peach
Things You'll Need:
- ham, duh (though I like to switch it up with salami, bologna, a zesty pimento loaf, or even some smoked Tofurkey slices if that's what you're into)
Step 1: Prepare Your Ham.
Take a slice of ham and cut it in half. To create a rosebud, roll the half slice of ham, gathering it on one side to create the 'bottom' of your blossom. Secure the bottom of your ham blossom with a toothpick, and continue creating blossoms until you feel you have a sufficient amount to create your crown with. (The example in the photo provided uses nine.)
Step 2: Place Your Roses On The Crown.
Cut a piece of wire that is long enough to fit securely around your head around one and a half times. Remove the toothpick carefully from each blossom before guiding the wire through it. Stop once you have used all of your blossoms. It should be enough to cover a good portion of your head.
Step 3: Add Garnish. I Mean, Decoration.
Twist the ends of the wire together to create your crown, then tuck in a few sprigs of flat-leaf parsley to decorate your blossoms with some delicate leafy greens. Now place it on your head, turn on "Summertime Sadness", and channel your inner #sadgirl.