3 years ago1,000+ Views
Q: So here's the situation. I've been decently good friends with my ex for a while and while he was drinking last night he started messaging me about how he missed me and wanted me back. I just went along with it because I do still care a lot and told him that he would have to prove to me that I could trust him again since he cheated on me, and that's why we had broken up. He said he would. Today, though, he didn't bring it up at all and I feel kind of dumb because I had really hoped that he would actually try. It really hurts and I hate myself for letting him get to me again. Any advice?? I'd like to know what people think but am embarrassed to post this myself.
A: Leave your advice for this anon in the comments!!!
(and remember, if you need advice, send me your questions and I'll post them up for you so you don't have to ^^)
Aw don't feel dumb or guilty for still feeling things for him! When you love somebody, that can take a long time to go away. I know I for one had an on-again-off-again relationship with my college ex, a trainwreck that lasted 2 years. Those were 2 years filled with pain, guilt, sadness, feeling unwanted and hurt and depressed. I recommend NEVER getting back with an ex -- it's always better to start over with someone new. before falling prey to this person again, really truly think about whether you wanting to get back together is motivated by being lonely, not having gotten over the pain of losing them yet, or just wanting someone to give you that feeling of being loved -- or whether this person is honestly good for you and your emotional wellbeing, whether they're the kind of person who lifts you up and makes you a betterperson, and inspires you to be your best self. But honestly, even if it's tough to be single now, i truly believe there is always someone better out there!! you can get through this :) best of luck!
My advice: If you really want to give the relationship another try, you're gonna need to ask him (while he's sober) about what he was talking about and figure out if those are feelings he really has or he was just being nostalgic. It might hurt, but it's better if you find out now. I, for one, don't make exceptions about cheaters, but I don't know the situation and everyone is different. Also, don't feel bad about having feelings for him? Like, you obviously cared about him a lot, so having romantic feelings is totally normal. You have no reason to feel guilty.
I agree with @ChristinaBryce. See what he says when he is sober. And it's normal to still feel something for him.
lemme just second everything @allischaaff has to say