I remember it like it was yesterday. I can't believe it's been five years. You were my first and my last. My first boyfriend. My first love. My first real relationship. We were so young and in love, at least I think it was love? But that's besides the fact. You text me every now and then telling me how you miss me, but why wait five years to tell me? I wanted you to tell me these things when I was investing my time and energy into you. Those times I bought you "just because" gifts and invited you to meet the family. Those times I said I love you even when you hurt me. Those times I waited up for your phone calls when you were out "doing you" and doing you got me where I am today.
Many would say I am crazy to say I miss you, but I don't. I miss us. I miss what we had and what we didn't have. I feel like every guy after you has been a fail. Why? I deserve someone amazing, but I won't settle. I'll admit you cross my mind every now and then, but not because I miss you -- I miss us. I haven't told a guy I love you since I told you five years ago, but a guy wouldn't appreciate those words anyway. I love myself and right now that's exactly who I'm focusing on. You taught me self-love. It's funny how you have to go through the bad to get to the good. I could never hate you, but I definitely don't miss you.