We Are Your Friends is a movie. It definitely is. It was shot using a camera. There were actors who played roles. And I'm sure there's some kind of narrative with some conflict then some resolution. But, ultimately, We Are Your Friends is a waste of your fucking money.
Have you ever eaten a piece of Bazooka Joe gum? Imagine you're someone who loves gum, all kinds of gum; mint, cinnamon, bubble, whatever. That's you for the next 5 minutes, alright? So you love gum and you pick up the Bazooka Joe and unwrap it. The wrapper has a funny-enough joke on it and that's cool. But then you put the actual gum in your mouth and instead of being hard and tough for your teeth, it's nice and soft at first. It tastes great. I promise, it does for a second. But one cycle through your mouth, a couple of chews in, the flavor is gone. It tastes like absolutely nothing. It's like you're gnawing on a giant piece of soft plastic. And the only thought you have in your mind is to, well, toss it out. But guess what, you're on a bus or a plane or some other public place where you're too awkward (or weird or whatever you want) to stick that piece of gum under your seat. "Someone's gotta clean that up and that's gross" you think to yourself. So you're stuck. You're stuck with this giant piece of soft plastic rubber in your mouth for about an hour and a half (because you're on a bus or a plane or a train for that long).
And that's what We Are Your Friends is. It's a giant piece of rubber plastic that I'm tired of chewing and want to spit out into a garbage can. It doesn't add anything new to the "rag-to-riches" story. Instead, it surrounds that narrative in a culture that celebrates an excessive lifestyle. I've never been about party culture, or dance music, or DJs that think they are musicians. The characters in this movie are hard to care about. They're the people you avoid when you go out on a Friday night, they're the ones yelling into your car as you drive down main street, and they're the ones who are going to make this movie a lot of money. And that alone will tell Hollywood that this is what audiences want to see. And fuck that. So, don't watch this movie. We Are Your Friends comes out on a day. Look it up yourself.