It was late one evening when James woke up to screaming. He sighed it was baby hope trying to ignore her he fell back asleep. A few hours later the sun was shining and he rubbed his eyes. Relieved that hope was now silent but for his long? Forcing himself out of bed and into the kitchen he made breakfast. Just the smell of food made him sick. James out a bagel in the toaster and rolled up his sleeves to reveal lots of red lines. Some were old scars and some were freshly made still open and red. The sudden urge to itch came but he refused. When the bagel popped up he put jelly on it and forced it down. As he finished hope started to whine. James said gently ,"hush my hope please? Daddy needs his rest he'll play with you later." The whining became softer but didn't stop. Trying to block it out James turned on the TV and watched a movie. The ending was sad and James was holding back tears. When the first tear fell the whining became glass breaking screams. Quickly he cleared his throat and wiped away the tear away. The screaming continued for a minute or two but calmed down. He channel surfed for awhile until lunch secretly listening to Hope. After he forced down a sandwhich and went back to the tv. On the next commercial though he rubbed his fingers on the scars. Hope became louder and refused to stop. He tried calming her by saying ,"don't worry hope..... We can play when it gets dark...." Pleased hope went back to a quiet whine until the sun went down. The minute the sun vanished hope went back to the loud screams. Suddenly feeling alone and worthless James broke down. Tears streamed his face as hope got even louder. James managed to choke out " OK.......baby.......you win......lets...play...." Slowly he stood up and and went to his screaming baby. Hope was in the bathroom laying where the soap dish should be. When hope saw her father she started to giggle and James picked her up. Hopes metal seemed extra shiny tonight even with the blood stains. Hopes a razor that James cares for deeply. "Ready to leave hope?" Asked James, hope was silent as she was held. James grew excited and slid her over his wrist and cut his vein. Blood went everywhere and he didn't even try to stop it. He did the other one fell on the floor in his own blood, dizzy and faint. Delirious the last words he uttered was ,"I love you Hope. "