3 years ago5,000+ Views
Are you too shy to flirt? Never tried before? Maybe you've had your eye on someone for a while now, but at the thought of speaking to them, your hands get sweaty and you get so nervous that you want to hide in a nearby broom closet?

Well then, listen up! Because this card is for you ;)

That cute boy (or girl) with the great hair and swoon-worthy smile isn't going to just drop into your lap. You're going to have to work for it. But that's okay: flirting is fun! Even if you're a total beginner to the fabulous world of flirtation, have no fear. I'm here to be your guide! ;D


When you first start out, you might not have a ton of confidence in yourself (especially if you're someone who's shy by nature). But practice makes perfect, so make sure to take a chance and give these moves a try! Getting a little out of your comfort zone, even if it's not exactly, well, comfortable, is key to improving at anything. And just remember: if you never try, you'll never succeed!

The Natural Progression

As with anything, you'll want to start small. Luckily, flirting with someone almost always follows a natural progression. These are the three golden rules:
1. Eye contact
2. Conversation
3. Touch

Eye Contact

Start here. Flirtatious eye contact is basically eye contact that lets someone know you're interested in them. Worried that you're being too obvious? That's the idea! By making a little extra eye contact with this person, you're hinting at the fact that you might be interested in them. Don't worry – they won't see right through you into the heart of your obsession. For all they know, you're looking at them because they have ketchup on their face. So go forth, have no fear, and try out one of the strategies below.
Strategy 1 – Subtle
Locate the person you're interested in (your "target") and lock eyes on them. When they look your way, look away and pretend to be busy. They'll be like, "Hm, were they looking at me? Or weren't they? Hmm, they're kinda cute..."
Strategy 2 – Flirtatious
Lock eyes on your target, but this time, when they look your way, hold their gaze for a second or two. You can smile too, if you want to. This move makes it clear that you're feeling friendly towards them, and opens the door for the next step: conversation. There's nothing like that feeling of electricity that shoots down your spine when you see someone looking at you like this!


The next step is actually talking to the object of your affections. Don't be intimidated – they're just a human being, like you! None of us are perfect (even if they do have the kind of romantic eyelashes that would make a supermodel weep...).
Strategy 1 – Subtle
Say hello. That's all you have to do. You can smile while you do it, if you're feeling it. Whether they're someone in your class, a barista at your local coffeeshop, a guy sitting next to you on the train... just say hi! It's step one of any conversation. Who knows, maybe it'll lead somewhere. At the very least, it's nice of you to be friendly :)
Strategy 2 – Also Subtle
This one's all about getting to know them. Ask how their weekend went, what they did. From there, you should be able to discover some interests or hobbies. Engage them in conversation about the things they like, listening well and asking relevant questions. Guaranteed they'll be flattered by your interest. Bonus points if you guys are into the same things – it shows you have something in common!
Strategy 3 – Flirtatious
Once you guys have been talking for a while, find some excuse to exchange phone numbers. Usually, once I have a guy's number, I feel pretty confident that I can make something happen between us. Flirting over text is easier than flirting in person, so it's a great way to work on building your confidence and testing out your skills without all the discomfort of a face to face experience. Have a text conversation every few days. It doesn't need to be every day, and you should definitely play it cool at first. But using lots of smiley faces is a good way to subtly hint at how you feel. :) ;) ;D


Introverts, this might make you want to dive under your covers and never come out. But it's not as big a deal as it sounds! Once you've mastered eye contact and conversation with your crush, and you sense them flirting back with you a little bit, it's definitely time to take your flirting to the next level. Don't worry about it seeming unnatural – as two people get friendlier and closer, it's natural for their relationship to grow a bit more physically intimate. You hug your friends, don't you? Same for crushes!
Strategy 1 – Subtle
When emphasizing a point or laughing at something witty they've said, touch their arm lightly. It's momentary and easy to do, but that little touch can go a long way.
Strategy 2 – Subtle-ish
Find more creative ways to make physical contact. Stand a tiny bit closer to them than you usually would. Brush against them lightly while you're bending over the same computer screen or piece of paper. If you're younger and sitting in class together, draw something on their hand (if they're okay with that). Give them a playful shove when they tease you. This one is all about being clever.
Strategy 3 – More Flirtatious
If they have an eyelash on their cheek or a bit of fuzz in their hair, do them a favor and remove it for them. Just be like, "Oh, wait a sec, there's like a little eyelash right there... hold on, stay still, I'll get it for you," and then let the magic happen. It's a surprisingly romantic moment.
Strategy 4 – Flirtatious
If you've developed a good friendship with your target, give them long, snuggly hugs hello. This was ALL the rage back in high school (back when I didn't really have the confidence to do it... haha). If you can initiate hugs, cuddle puddles, etc., I highly encourage you to do so. Get confident in your body! Don't be shy :)
So there you have it! Those are NINE excellent strategies that you (YES, YOU) can put into practice. Start with eye contact, then move on to conversation, then to touch. It might seem daunting at first, but the more positive reinforcement you receive from your crush, the more confident you'll feel!
And I'm sure in no time, the feelings you have will be mutual ;) Just be patient, put yourself out there, and don't be afraid to take chances!
I like your point @allischaaf! I think it’s easier for me to text flirt too, for the same reason! Plus it provides a little time to think and come up with the cleverest of responses. ;)
@terrecariley hahaha I feel you, lady. I LOVE to flirt. And it's gotten me in trouble too ;D haha. It's just one of those simple pleasures in life!! And @buddyesd that's a great question!! Honestly, I would say a big yes. In fact, it's been scientifically studied! When a girl touches her hair a lot, it's called preening. And in the natural world, that's a mating behavior haha ;) so if a girl is touching her hair a lot, she's probably totally flirting with you!! And to be honest, I find myself doing that wayyy too much when I'm talking to a guy I like... It's a bad habit >.<
Woah, woah, woah! I'm innocent! Innocent I tell ya!
Agreed @jeff4122! If humor can transfer into real life, then all the better. But I think text is also a good mode of flirtation in the beginning (sort of like a buffer). I grew up having to communicate on the phone (and back in the day on AIM) so it just is comfortable for me in the beginning.
hahah @allischaaff @nicolejb i go with the opposite logic. i like messing up and not being able to come up with witty things right away, i think the awkwardness of TRYING to be funny in a live conversation trumps all :)
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