How can you tell if a guy is flirting with you?
In a recent experiment, researchers from the University of Kansas found that guys are better than girls at knowing if someone was flirting with them:
Guys were twice as accurate in detecting if a woman was flirting: 36 percent of men knew when a woman was being more-than-friendly, while only 18 percent of women knew that. But when flirting wasn't occurring, both genders were much better at figuring that out (84 percent of men knew when a woman wasn't flirting, compared to 83 percent of women).
What?! That's crazy! Ladies, looks like we need some help. After consulting a few articles on signs that a guy is flirting, I brought in a real, live, attractive male to comment on them.
He Looks Away
"If it’s your first or second date, he’ll look away when you’ll look at him. It’s a sign that he likes you." – HerBeauty
Guy: "I don't... I don't even know what that means. So you just... never look at each other? Bad idea."
He Looks Deeply Into Your Eyes
"If you know each other longer – he’ll look deeply into your eyes during conversation. It means he has fallen for you." – HerBeauty
Guy: "That's not what that means. That's called listening."
He Spreads His Legs
"If he puts his hands on his hips, he doesn’t have a strong interest. He’s just showing he’s a macho guy. If a man spreads his legs apart, it’s a good sign."
Guy: "I don't think I've ever done that. I've just never put my hands on my hips. [Re: spreading legs] Where is this coming from? Who wrote this?"
Me: "So you don't think it's a good sign, if he spreads his legs?"
Guy: "It's not a sign. It's just a... strange motion."
His Upper Body Faces You
"If he's pointed half out the door, don't give him a second thought, but if he's fully frontal while talking to you, that's a sure sign he's interested." – Women's Health
Guy: "That's the first reasonable thing you've said all day."
Me: "Do you notice yourself doing that? Facing a girl you're into?"
Guy: "No, but I probably do it one way or the other."
He Finds An Excuse To Talk To You
"Any man who’s flirting with you will find an excuse to talk with you. Most often he’ll think of something you chatted about last time you saw him and carry on with the conversation."
Guy: "I think that's true. That's what I would do, before I'm like, how you doin'? Because that's more intimate of a question. If I'm just getting to know somebody and flirting with them, I'll be like, oh, I remember that thing you were going to do. How'd that thing go?"
He Perks Up When He Sees You
"He will hold his head higher, he’ll smile brighter, and he’ll seem ten times more cheerful than he had been the moment before he noticed you walk in the room. Trust me, if he’s interested in you, he’ll be happy to see you!" – YouQueen
Guy: "Yeah, that's definitely true. I think that's a science thing. Or a brain thing. Like if you like someone and see them walk in a room, you're like a dog. You're like –" *ears perk up motion*
He Stays Close to You
"Men are territorial. Seriously, it’s an alpha thing... When a man is flirting with you, you’ll notice that he moves in close to you. You’ll see that double if a good looking guy walks by or also comes up to talk to you." – YouQueen
Guy: "I think that's a personality thing. I personally don't do that. It's people who are more jealous that do that."
Me: "But if it's just someone you're flirting with, do you move closer to them?"
Guy: "Hmm... I don't think so. I try to draw them in with my smooth talkin', and make them move closer to me! Haha. That was a joke."
He Stumbles Over Himself
"When [he] tries to flirt with you, he will stumble over his words, spill his drink, say something ridiculous, blush, and be scared of you the next time he sees you. It’s the most adorable thing on the planet! So if your guy isn’t exactly Mr. Good With Words, but is instead making a complete klutz out of himself whenever he sees you, then you’re definitely being flirted with." – YouQueen
Guy: "Yeah, that's probably at least a little bit true."
He Lets His Friends Go On Without Him
"The guys always come first. This means, if you and he are talking, and his friends come up, you can expect him to end your conversation to go hang out with them. Unless he’s flirting, of course. If your guy continues to chat with you and tells his friends, “I’ll catch up with you later” (or some equivalent thereof), then you’re definitely being flirted with." – YouQueen
Guy: "Yeah, I've done that. Many a time."
He Texts Right Away
"You know that “three day” rule about calling or texting? Well, occasionally men will follow that rule because they think it’s one of those rules you should never break. However, I’ve known plenty of guys to break that rule for someone they’re really interested in." – YouQueen
Guy: "Hmm. I think it depends on the text message, right? 'Hey,' with a period – that's a smooth move. But if he's like 'I'm thinking about you right now,' then it's like, whoa, I've only known you for a day, dude!"
Me: "Would you ever text a girl immediately after meeting her or getting her number?"
Guy: "Yes. Definitely. But I would not be smooth. I would say something awkward like 'get ready for weird selfies, man."
I'm hoping to do more cards with real guys' perspectives soon! I'll be adding them to my Modern Day Romance collection, which you are welcome to check out if you like cards on dating, flirting tips, and relationships :)