The short version: there's lots of murder and mayhem.
We're one episode past mid-season, but I thought I'd wait for this weeks' episode before I did a recap to see if we got any more information. Silly me. Of course we didn't! But it's time for a recap anyway. After all, how are we going to wildly guess what the rest of the season has in store without examining all the evidence?
Stop judging Lydia.
We all know we're not going to figure it out.
A quick recap for people who skipped season 1-4:
If someone isn't wearing a shirt, they're probably a werewolf.
Allison Argent was a werewolf hunter who decided to use her powers for good. Then she died and we are ALL STILL SAD.
Derek was the Alpha for a while. If you don't know what an Alpha is: it's kind of a big deal. Anyway he's not in this season.
Scott is the main squeeze and perfect cinnamon roll of the show. He's a super special Alpha because of course he is. He's the hot girl.
His girlfriend Kira is a kitsune. His friend Lydia is a banshee. His other friend Malia is a were-coyote who accidentally killed her family and went feral for a while. She's dating Scott's best friend Stiles. Stiles is a human.
Scott also accidentally bit Liam, who has anger issues. He'll be fine probably.
All on the same page?
Good. Here's what's happened so far on season 5:
We know that Lydia somehow ends up at Eichen House, which is theoretically a place where mentally ill people can recover but so far all we've seen there is a prison for supernatural creatures and a lot of murder-happy orderlies. At best, it's creepy in there and looks unsanitary.
The season opened with Lydia showing off some kick-ass fight choreography she definitely didn't know last season, and also she might have seen all of her friends die.
Then there's Theo
He's a werewolf. He claims he wants to be part of Scott's pack. Stiles doesn't trust him. And while Stiles doesn't really have any solid evidence there, he's not wrong. Theo menaced two adults pretending to be his parents with a hammer, so he's clearly not who he says he is. AND he's working with the Dread Doctors.
Oh yeah, the creepy medical-horror A-plot
We have no idea what the Dread Doctors want. Maybe their hobby is abducting teenagers and performing terrifying body modification surgery on them. Like putting mouths in people's hands and giving hot dudes scorpion venom. If only someone had introduced them to knitting first.
Anyway, this past episode suggested that there's a method to which teenagers the Doctors are picking for their test subjects. They don't seem to have much in common (since we don't really know any of them that well), aside from the bad luck of living in Beacon Hills. You'd think people would have moved after like, dead body #3 way back in season 1.
Speaking of dead bodies...
Malia was presumed dead for a while. Turns out she was just stuck as a coyote and running around in the woods. She's mostly fine now. But it turns out her dad isn't her dad, it's Peter Hale. And her mom is some mysterious woman called The Desert Wolf who maybe probably caused the accident that killed half of Malia's family. After she had a flashback of the event, she lied to her boyfriend Stiles about it.
But Stiles is lying too, so it's ok...?
Because we all know lies and deception are the foundation for a long and healthy relationship. Stiles killed a guy. To be fair, they guy was trying to kill him. So in the grand scheme of things that was probably ok. Except Scott's pack isn't about killing.
Yeah, bottle that right up.
And while we're on the subject of things better left suppressed...
We know Kira's a kitsune. Apparently she's a kitsune of death, because it seems like her mythological alter-ego is hell-bent on chopping off heads and causing electrical damage. It's always the cute ones.
And then there's this guy!
Look at that smile. Doesn't he just seem charming and trustworthy? Yeah don't fall for that. When he's not spending time totally crushing on a teenage girl, he's walking around naked and on fire carrying dead corpses to a magic tree. Even by Beacon Hill standards, that's a little weird.
Everyone is young and full of lies The Dread Doctors need a new hobby Mental health care in this country is sub-par
As per usual, it kind of sounds like everybody is going to die and it will all be terrible forever. Yay!