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Tom Cruising: A Life-Changing Experience

[Conversation takes place over black coffee and unfiltered cigarettes on July 28, 2015]
So, uh, that new Mission Impossible movie comes out this weekend, you wanna check it out?
Why not? You don't like Mission Impossible? You don't like America? Don't tell me you don't like America, bro! [laughs] Seriously though, you're not into Mission Impossible, or more importantly Tom Cruise? TC, Tommy Cruising, T-Times-C?
I'm sorry, that last one didn't make any sense.
No, but yeah, you have got to see this movie. Why? I'll tell you why. For his run. To watch TC run so goddamn hard.
No, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm perfectly fine, man. I'm telling you, though, he's the best goddamn runner I have ever seen. Who? Usain who? Naw, dog, Cruise got him on this one. Have you ever seen the motherfucker run? Sometimes he doesn't even breathe. Sometimes, there are explosions are going off right behind him and other times he falls but gets back up and keeps running without taking a break.
No I'm not insane. You're insane. There's something majestic about watching this man run. Did you know that he has a scene where he's running in almost every movie he's been in? Why? Because Hollywood knows that shit is boss, dude. There are only eight movies where he didn't run*, tell me that shit isn't awesome.
You're wrong and I'm right and you have to deal with it. When's the last time you ran anywhere, homie? That's what I thought. You don't know what it means to actually run. You run from your problems, you run to exercise, but that ain't real. Tom Cruise and running? That's real. Cruise runs with purpose, with heart. You hardly have a heart. Always crying about something or other.
Here's the thing, man. We're going to watch that movie. You are going to watch that movie. I am going to take you to watch that movie. Do you understand? You just got to see him run, alright? This is important to me. Things that are important to me should be important to you.
You have got to trust me for once. You'll be in the theater, you'll see a scene of him running and you'll be astounded. It's not just about running with Tom Cruise. It's not. It's more than that. It's what I think about when I wake up and what I fall asleep dreaming about. When I can't get through something, if I'm struggling with my life, or whatever, you know what I think? You really want to know?
WWTD. What Would Tom Do. And you know what he'd do? He'd run. He'd run so hard with so much confidence, nothing would stop him. And nothing will stop me. Do you get it, man? Do you understand?
*That's probably, maybe false. He doesn't know the exact number. He pulled 8 out of his mental hat because the current date (of the conversation) ends with that digit.
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@danidee @VinMcCarthy @shannonl5 @jordanhamilton, guys. guys. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE IF YOU RUN LIKE TOM CRUISE, NEVER FORGET THAT
This is the most magical of magic cards. It's suddenly become my life's mission to run in all the different locations Tom Cruise has run in in his movies. Talk about a REAL mission impossible.
this is tre perf.
T-Times-C = HILARIOUS!!!! Tom Cruise is the G.O.A.T (Greatest Of All Time). I'm sure you knew what that meant lol
you should make t-shirts too. with my favorite part of this card: "WWTD. What Would Tom Doโ€ and then on the back โ€œRUN"
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