3 years ago1,000+ Views
So this is my first time participating in @VinMcCarthy flash fiction writing prompt and I must say that I am extremely excited. I miss doing creative writing, so this shall be enjoyable. The prompt I chose was: "There's something this person has strived their whole life to accomplish, and just as they try to really begin, they are stopped by some other force."
I boarded the bus, bag in one hand and a one way ticket to the best city in the world in the other. I was finally making my dreams a reality. It took me twenty-four long years, but I did it -- despite all the negativity I endured.
"This seat is taken", said an old man with a huge wart on his nose.
Mind you, his bag was occupying the seat that I could be slumped in right about now.
My feet were hurting and my chest was tight from holding back the tears I didn't want to expel. I already missed my family, but I was following my dreams. That counted for something, right?
I continued to walk down the aisle of the bus and finally found an empty seat sitting beside a little boy who looked like he couldn't be any older than about ten.
I take a deep breath and slumped down into the chair as the bus driver gets onto the loud speaker.
"Welcome aboard ladies and gentleman. Our Destination is New York City. We are scheduled to arrive at 6:30P.M. weather and traffic permitting. Please no smoking or loud talking on the bus. If you have any questions, direct them towards me. Enjoy the ride, we are on our way to the concrete jungle."
Finally. After years and years of wishing, praying and hoping -- my dreams were finally becoming a reality.
We've been on the bus for about two hours now and bus begins to swerve.
I peak into the aisle to see if anyone else notices or if I'm delirious.
Everyone else is either asleep or listening to their music.
I get up out of my seat and walk up to the front to see what's going on.
As I get to the front, I peak through the glass door and see the bus driver texting a mile a minute, paying absolutely no attention to the road.
"Sir, can you please stop texting. I don't feel safe."
"Young lady, please go sit down."
"But sir...please."
The bus begins to swerve, and as the bus driver pumps on his breaks -- next thing I know my entire body is protruding through the glass window.
I'm numb.
OH. MY. GOD!! this took a turn i was not expecting and i love it!! you had 500 words i would have almost wanted more, a little extra suspense of the driver swearing or something !!! awesome job i hope you do the next one. you went dark and i diggggg that
Damn, there's lots of emotion here. Totally caught me off guard. This is what writing has the power to do, too - take a personal situation and expound on it, while also getting after a societal issue. really nicely done!
YAY Liz!!! Thanks so much for reading :) I didn't even count my words...whoops! :( but I def should've added a bit more conflict like Vin said. Def will keep all these pointers in mind for next time :) @LizArnone
Thanks so much @jeff4122 ! I haven;t done creative writing in along time so it was definitely fun to break out of my shell a bit. I'm glad you enjoyed :)
thanks so much for the feedback Vin! I def get what you're saying as far as adding more conflict. I will def keep that in mind for your next flash fiction and YES I will def be doing the next one! it was exciting :) @VinMcCarthy
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