It's that time again! The last time we played this game, we chose between different Sherlock villains. Today I'm going to be a giant nerd and play Marry Boink Kill with everyone's favorite comic book villains. Don't remember how to play? Here are the rules:
Step 1: Pick three characters Step 2: Decide who you'd marry, boink, and kill Step 3: ???? Step 4: Profit
I'll do step one for you, and I'll even play along myself! Think you can handle the rest?
Lex Luthor, Kingpin, & Justin Hammer
The dastardly dudes in suits. I know right away I'd kill Hammer. He's just... bad at things. He's kind of a wannabe villain, he pays other people do to stuff for him. I'd probably marry Kingpin. He's terrifying, but as we know from the last season of Daredevil, he *really* cares about the people in his inner circle. Which means I'd boink Lex Luthor. He's usually pretty svelte, so I don't think that would be super unpleasant.
Talia al Ghul, Mystique, & Selina Kyle
All of these ladies are sometimes villains, sometimes righteously angry, and that's why we all love them. Which makes this question really difficult! I think I'd boink Selina Kyle, and marry Talia al Ghul (her access to the Lazarus Pit is a huge perk). It saddens me to say that means I'd kill Mystique, but since that was basically the plot of Days of Future Past I don't feel too guilty.
Bane, Solomon Grundy, & Brock Rumlow
This is another one I'm mostly sure about. Kill Grundy, because he creeps me out. I think I'd boink Bane (as long as he's being played by Tom Hardy, who could resist?), and... ok. Frank Grillo's Rumlow is really good-looking you guys. He probably got a decent pension from S.H.I.E.L.D. and possibly a sweet dental plan from Hydra. Just one of the perks of working for not one but two covert spy agencies. And Grillo is really attractive.