So: here's how it would go down if The Office ever did a Marvel episode.
Jim & Pam = Tony & Pepper
For starters, everyone is rooting for this power couple. I don't write the rules, that's just how it is. And in a lot of ways, Tony Stark is everyone's favorite. He's definitely the most popular, and he's often the first character to insert a dose of reality in the frankly ridiculous stories he's in- just like Jim. And, I hate to break it to you, but Tony can be kind of a jerk sometimes. So can Jim. We forgive them, mostly because it's funny.
And in the meantime, Pam and Pepper are the quiet but 100% competent ladies that keep everything from getting out of hand.
Michael Scott = Bruce Banner
Kind of awkward and mild-mannered most of the time (if perhaps a bit incompetent), Michael Scott has his moments. The ones where he totally freaks out and smashes everything. Just like the Hulk.
Erin Hannon = Wanda Maximoff
"She's weird." Need I say more?
Andy Bernard = Captain America
Has an outdated sense of style. Spends time judging people for their ridiculous behavior. Still single despite lots of attempts at romance. Am I talking about Andy Bernard or Steve Rogers? Both, because they are the same person. Illuminati confirmed. Let's move on.
Kevin Malone = Thor
Everyone thinks these guys are idiots. And in defense of everyone, they have their moments. They don't often think before they act, and they're both incredibly stubborn. But frankly, Kevin's got it figured out. He's got a steady job where very little is actually required of him. And Thor? Well, he's king of the Nine Realms and he has a really great relationship with a hammer, so he's doing all right too I guess.
Creed Bratton = Nick Fury
Okay. So nobody knows what either of these people keep in the truck of their car, or where they even came from, but there's this definite fear that they instill in everyone around them.
Toby Flenderson = Hawkeye
The dude that everyone forgets is in the Avengers. I included a panel from the comics because Toby is the epitome of the Matt Fraction version of Hawkeye. Constantly having trouble with totally mundane things, just kind of sad for no reason. Yup. They're also the same person. Relax about it.
Angela Martin = Happy Hogan
There's no logic behind this, they're just my two least favorite characters.
Ryan Howard = Justin Hammer
Both of these characters are basically failures in denial about their constant state of failure. And they're really into gadgets. And failed business ventures.
Kelly Kapoor = Darcy Lewis
These two are kind of hilariously bad at the things that they have to do, and they both are constantly making cultural references that nobody understands. And pausing for pictures. Gotta treasure the moments!
Darryl Philbin = Sam Wilson
You perfect cinnamon rolls, too good for this world, too pure.
Gabe Lewis = Jarvis
Aw buddy. You try so hard to keep everything in order and prevent explosions, and you so rarely succeed. That can really be said of both of these characters, since they're essentially babysitters for everyone else around them.
Meredith Palmer = Maria Hill
Secretly very good at things, not-so-secretly 100% done with everyone.
Phyllis Lapin-Vance = Natasha Romanoff
Natasha is secretly a giant dork. She watches horror movies, she comes up with stupid names for Steve ("I'm here to pick up a fossil") but she's also probably very lonely. This woman deserves her own movie. Oh- and Black Widow does too.
Robert California = Ultron
James Spader. Enough said.
Stanley Hudson = Drax
Another character that is 100% done with everything and everyone.
Oscar Martinez = Phil Coulson
How many times do people walk away from Phil Coulson while he's talking? Is there a montage of those scenes out yet? Because that happens a lot. Sorry Oscar, it feels like a lot of the time you're in the same boat.
And what about Dwight?
He'd say to heck with all of this and show up as Darth Vader Batman.