British Man Calls Police To Get Cat Arrested For Stealing His Bacon
Now, if you've ever owned a cat or dog before, you probably experienced the inevitable moment when they steal your food, but you probably didn't handle it this way!
Earlier this week, a British man called his local police station to report that his girlfriend allowed his cat to eat his bacon without permission.
West Yorkshire Police released the hilarious audio (above) of the phone call between the (questionably inebriated) caller and the police; his main complaint being:
"Me girlfriend has let the cat eat my bacon. I want to press charges."
The dispatcher, understandably confused, asked the man if he wanted to press charges against his girlfriend or the cat, to which he answered, well, both.
"Sir, it's not an offense to let your cat eat your bacon. And we don't arrest cats."
The man shockingly argued the dispatcher's statement further, stating that since his girlfriend fed the bacon to the cat, she definitely deserves to be arrested. However, after being pretty flatly denied, the man gave up and ended the call.
In an official press conference following the incident, the cat yawned, rolled over, and probably let out a strangely bacony cat fart. Because he's a cat. And cats don't talk.
It is undetermined whether the couple involved is still together, but I'm going to have to guess no.