So you wanna get in shape, huh? But not just any shape. You wanna get mother-fuckin' Super Saiyain SWOLE.
Well then, you're gonna need some intructions. This level of raw power is not something you can just fall into. It takes rigor, discipline, and an insatiable desire to be better than you are.
You've got all that? Well let's get started then.
This is a 30 day plan. Be warned, though! This is not for beginners! No, this is for the well-initiated, those who devote countless hours to achieving maximum physical perfection. Not for the faint of heart.
You're gonna need to find yourself a gravity chamber, and crank that bad boy up to 10x Earth's gravity. If you find it hard to get into a gravity chamber, you can wear 10 pound wrist and ankle weights, with a 50 pound weight vest.
Your first 5 days are gonna look like this:
Pushups: 50/set, 4 sets
1 hour run
Crunches: 50/set. 4 sets
45 minute run
One-handed pushups: 25/set, 4 sets
30 minute run
Inverted Sit-ups (Hang from a bar): 30/set, 3 sets
15 minute sprint
1 hour Plank
30min side plank, either side
Cool down with a 5 minute sprint.
Okay, now we're getting warmed up. This middle section is gonna be where things really heat up. It's gonna be a straight 20 days of this workout, and it will be sure to coax every bit of potential out of you. If you begin to doubt yourself, just know that there is no weak sauce allowed in the gravity chamber. NONE.
Standing pushups: 75/set, 2 sets
80lb Squat: 25/set, 6 sets
Pull-ups: 100/set. 4 sets
Butterfly crunches: 40/set, 6 sets
Burpees: 100/set, 8 sets
Repeat this small workout on 15x gravity, or add another 40lbs to your body weights. You'll start seeing the results of this training in no time.
For your last 5 days, you're gonna need to hop in the hyperbolic time chamber to really maximize your workout. You're gonna want to bring a sparring partner too, because a lot of this will be martial arts practice training. A dummy could suffice if you can't find someone who will commit.
It will feel like years are passing for you, so be sure to stock up on provisions. The hyperbolic time chamber is a place outside of time, so when you emerge it will be as though only five days have passed.
This will be your daily workout for all of those years.
Spar for 3 hours
Eat a protein-heavy meal.
Fingertip pushups: 45/set, 6 sets
One armed pushups: 100/set, 3 sets
One finger pushups: 50/set, 3 sets
Inverted situps: 60/set, 4 sets
1hr side plank, either side
Burpees: 60/set. 5 sets
Standing pushups: 60/set, 4 sets
One armed standing pushups: 25/set, 3 sets
6 hour run
If you manage to get through all this, you'll come out looking like the biggest person in history. No one will be able to stand against you. You'll likely be around or even under 1% body fat. You have achieved perfection.
Congrats, warrior. You've done it.