Have you ever fallen on your butt when you were playing outside as a kid? Or maybe you were running to answer the front door, ended up tripping over something, and landed on your face?
Well, friends. That's called gravity. And it's a supreme d-bag.
Gravity plagues the lives of a staggering 99.99% of people here on Earth. The remaining 0.01% is Keanu Reeves, who understands that this planet is but a fabricated reality and secretly knows how to fly.
Anyway. Here are some reasons gravity is a big jerk.
It destroys a perfectly good dance number.
And really throws a wrench in a gymnast's routine.
It makes it uncomfortable to text before bed.
And allows birds to poop on you whenever they please.
It can 'crash' your wedding.
And invites itself to graduation.
It always acts like such a diva on the runway.
And while gravity can't tear it UP, it's always shutting things DOWN.
It always wants to trip you up when you're trying to look smooth.
And it won't even let you pour a bowl of cereal without taking a spill.
So let's all band together to say "Gravity, you suck!"
Then let's all become astronauts. Because astronauts always have the best life.
(I mean, until they're forced to explore wormholes, that is. Too soon?)