5,000+ Views

My Grumpy Dad Tries To Get A Haircut

Today's AfterLife column wasn't coming to me easily. I didn't have anything to write about, so I just didn't write.
Then I received an e-mail from my dad. He's a pretty funny guy. This golden e-mail detais a particularly laughable incident in which he attempts to get his hair cut. I read through it and decided I had to share it with you all. Dad's a good guy, but that doesn't mean he's not a grumpy old man.

Here is a special post, written by my father, the "Grumpy Old Man".

Tess' Note: This is an entirely real thing that happened to my dad, and as I understand it, completely ridiculous. I've sussed out my dad's writing with these handy dotted lines, and placed my editorial comments with this little precursor.
Hope you have a chuckle.
I needed a haircut. I'd been thinking about getting one for few weeks, but hadn't taken the time. I looked like one of those fifty-something guys who haven't held down a regular job in years--which is exactly what I am. I was looking sloppy-ish--which doesn't bother me any, but it irritates my children (and God knows, I wouldn't want to do that!) I needed to go to the dentist, too, but I hate the dentist and won't go unless I'm in pain.
Anyway, I was driving on Route 21, better known as Brecksville Rd., when I spotted a Great Clips in a mini-mall. I walked inside and noticed there were two stylists (is that what you call them?), both twenty-something females, both occupied. The stylist on the right side of the room looked up and said, "Welcome to Great Clips. Did you check in on line?"
[Tess' note: The following conversation takes place between my grumpy dad and a stylist at a Great Clips. This is like the McDonald's of hair places mind you. Dad's dialogue is in bold]
"Did I what?" I asked.
"Did you check in on line?"
"Was I supposed to?"
"No. But you can."
"I just want a haircut," I said.
"Okay. What's your phone number?" she asked.
"What's yours?" I asked. She chuckled nervously.
"We don't give out our phone numbers."
"But I'm supposed to give out mine to a stranger at Great Clips?" I said.
"You don't have to. What's your name?"
"You have to have my name to cut my hair?" I asked.
"Well, no. I guess I don't. I'll be with you in a few minutes."
"Terrific!" I said.
Ten minutes later, the stylist finished cutting the hair of a boy who looked to be in the fourth or fifth grade, collected thirteen dollars from his mother, walked to the back of the shop and disappeared.
I waited a few minutes, then stood and walked toward the stylist on the left.
[Tess' Note: Dad's not a very patient guy.]
"Is your colleague still here?"
"She's probably on her break," she said without looking up from her work on the head of a thirty-five year-old man.
"What is it? Two thirty? Yeah. She's on her break."
"She went on her break with me waiting fifteen minutes already?"
"Okay, well I'm apparently leaving," I said, turning toward the door.
"She'll be back in ten minutes," the stylist called to my backside.
I didn't turn around. No haircut for me. No need to explain. I'm sure I wasn't the first to walk out under those circumstances. I'm reasonably sure. Was I wrong? Who knows these days?
It's like pulling teeth to get a haircut.
I should have gone to the dentist.
My dad Matt is 57 and hangs out with my demonic cat Miss.Tuffsey. He likes baseball, golf, best buy and other dad things.
Is your dad grumpy like mine? If you want more stories from my grumpy geezer let me know in the comments below.
@esha that sounds nice! My dad has his moments of not being grumpy, but more often than not...he's well...the proof is in the card lol
@misssophiestik I'm glad. There's a lot more where that came from lol. And @cindystran I'm sorry to hear that :/ your dad sounds like a grumpy guy too lol. I remember when my whole family went to see Nsync back in the day, boy was that a trial lol. What movie did you go see lol? And you're right dads will be dads! Haha
Yes, please post more stories! My mom and dad separated, so I didn't have the chance to grow up with him. We do get to hangout occasionally. One of the most memorable memory is when he took us to watch the Jonas Brothers. we actually didn't go in because he thought the wait to get in was ridiculously long. He was out of patience when we waited about 2 hours and was pretty grumpy with teens were shouting everywhere, so he convinced us to leave and took us to watch a movie instead. The concert tickets were free anyways. My point is dad will always be dads.
This is a great card about your dad. I'm starting to dig him, well I think I already do.
Omg that's one of a million..ask him to write about a ham sandwich or cell phone
Cards you may also be interested in
4 Habits For A Happy Life
The key to success is do what others successful people are doing. The Successful people live their life with habits which help them achieving their goals in the long term. We are what we are because of the habits we are living our life in the past. If you want to change your life start by changing your habits. Do Something bold everyday which takes you towards your goals and destination. Habit 1 : Express Gratitude Gratitude makes sense of your past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. - Melody Beattie Starting a day with thankful thoughts is the best things you can do for yourself. When we feel thankful we can literally change the world. Morning is the best time you can express your grateful thoughts by thanking god for wonderful life, for lovely family, friends. When you focus on appreciating for the things you are grateful for you feel more positive about yourself which also boost your overall confidence. Practicing thankful thoughts helps us lift away all our problems because you drift your thoughts on the things you are grateful. Habit 2 : Read a book every weak Reading is a conversation. All books talk. But a good book listens as well. - Mark Haddon Reading books within a week is the great habit you can develop in yourself. In the long term you will see the great results of reading books. We are where we are because of the books we have read in the past. The Successful people are fond of reading they are obsessed with books they spend their free time in reading books which help them in getting creative Ideas. If you want to change the world, you need ideas to implement, you can get more creative ideas when you start spending time in reading books. The more books you read the more creative ideas you will get, the more you read the more successful person you will become. Habit 3 : Believe in yourself The strongest factor for success is self-esteem. Believing you can do it, believing you deserve it and believing you'll get it. - Unknown Believe in yourself, believe in your ideas, believe in your work don't let some idiots talk you out of it. Believe in your dreams no one is going to come to make your dreams comes true, its your responsibility to make your dreams comes true. Your life is your 100 percent responsibility, when you take 100 percent responsibility for your life in every field of your life your life will begin to change the moment you decide to. Habit 4 : Rising Early Wake up early and tackle the day before it tackles you. Be on offense, not defense. - Evan Carmichael Give yourself a strong reason to wake up early in the morning. When you have why behind your morning routine you feel excited to get up early morning. The people usually find it difficult to get up in the morning when they don't have a strong reason to get up in the morning. When you live your life with purpose you feel excited for your morning hours because purpose make us feel speacial about ourselves, purpose make us feel that we are part of something bigger than ourselves.
Best Stretch Marks Treatment in Bangalore
Stretch marks are red or gray marks that are mainly formed due to rapid weight gain or loss that result in stretching of the skin. These marks are formed on the dermis layer of the skin. The common causes of stretch marks include pregnancy, trauma caused to the skin due to sudden increase or loss weight, steroid intake, thyroid hormone imbalance also cause stretch marks formation. The stretch marks can appear on the body areas like abdomen, inner and outer arms, buttock area, inner and outer thighs, and knee area. Stretch marks are red (striae rubra) in color, but over a period of time, they fade to silver or gray color (striae alba). Advance laser treatment is very much effective in treating stretch marks, and it also boosts collagen and elastin production and smoothens the skin tone. Dr. Rasya Dixit is a well-known dermatologist who provides effective stretch marks treatment in Bangalore using advanced laser and modern techniques. The effective and advanced treatments include microneedling treatment, tixel treatment, and fractional CO2 laser and fractional micro-needle RF treatments. All these treatments help in diminishing the appearance of stretch marks and provide an improved skin texture. The cost of stretch marks in Bangalore depends on the type of treatment provided to treat the stretch marks, the type of stretch marks, the number of the procedure, and many more. For more information pay a visit at Dr. Dixit Cosmetic Dermatology Clinic. Disclaimer: Images and contents used in this post are only for promotional purposes.
5 Reasons why you should rely on online assignment help?
Assignment writing is not an easy task, considering the amount of self-study and research required for the completion. Proper knowledge of the topic is most important for the assignment writing help. Online assignment is considered as one of the useful platforms for those students who feel burdened with the pending homework. Completion of assignments is considered the best way of learning any subject. Online assignments help not only provide guidance and support but also help students in several different ways. One of the biggest benefits of online assignments is that it helps students in increasing concentration power, attentiveness and also develops a good understanding between students and teachers. With assignment writing tasks, students also get rid of their hesitation and they can even ask silly questions confidently. The assignment writing carries a good weightage on the final score and affects the overall performance of the students. These days, education is like a rat race where every student is busy attending lectures, completing assignments on different subjects, and securing high grades in order to achieve the best future career. Hence timely completion of assignments not only becomes important but also becomes compulsory for the students. The present education system is quite innovative for the students. Now students have graded on the basis of homework as well as an assignment submission. The students are now judged how well they practice their learning through the assignment writing. As assignment writing is the best medium to do so. Following are some important reason for choosing online assignment help Save time for other priorities Student life is considered one of the toughest stages of life. In a student's life, you have to perform different roles in a limited time frame. This stage is considered the curious stage of life. In a youthful and energetic life of a student, they have to do different experiments and inculcate many things within a specific time frame. One thing that all students have to face in this stage of life is the lack of time. Because of the burden of homework and assigned tasks, students don't get enough time for their family members. Thus, with the help of assignment help, you can complete your assignment within a limited time frame. You will also get extra time for your family members as well as for other priorities too. Broaden your knowledge and understanding of the subjects. You might be thinking about how the completion of assignments can broaden your knowledge and learning of a subject. Broadening of knowledge and understanding is possible through the reading assignments written by professional experts. By reading the assignment, you will get to know the essentials of writing perfect assignments. Moreover, this writing service provides students free access to assignment samples. Thus, you will be able to download from the site directly and acquire a piece of knowledge as much as you can in the area of your interest. Score improvement. When you submit top-quality assignments with your teachers, You will get good grades. Experts who have years of experience in writing assignments produce top-quality assignments. And these experts use the most authentic source for gathering materials and maintaining the structure throughout the writing. They also cite relevant sources in the content. Hence they will help you to develop customized assignments as per your requirement. Submit your assignment before the deadline. Most students find it difficult to handle too many assignment deadlines at the same time. Students have to write essays on chemistry, physics, and mathematics at the same time. Thus, it becomes really difficult to handle all the assignments at the same time. As the expert writers are trained to handle the most strict deadlines, they can help you finish the task on time. With the change in technology, students now have the opportunity to get help from online assignment writers. Thus, it helps them to complete their assignment on time. 24/7 service. The online assignment help provides you the 24/7 online support through various platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Whatsapp chats. For most students, lots of queries revolve in their minds. With the help of an online support system by online assignment, students can clear their doubts without any delay. Students can immediately place their queries and get answers to the same. These services also help them to get instant answers to queries. There are various sites available nowadays which help in the assignment writing services. and if you have someone like “help with the homework” you can easily get help and assistance. So, get additional help in completing your assignments. It's time to ace your grades by getting in touch with a good assignment help provider. Let us know if you need any specific information about assignment help. We will be happy to help you.
Top 10 MLM & Network Marketing Companies Of 2021
Before knowing  top 10 MLM & network marketing companies, let us know what is network marketing. Network marketing is a type of business opportunity that is very popular with people looking for part-time, flexible businesses. Network marketing, also known as multi-level marketing, is a direct selling method that uses a network of people to sell a product. The participants in this network are usually remunerated on a commission basis. Network marketing is a medium of marketing that manufacturers use to expand their sales. Here’s the list of top 10 Best Network Marketing Companies. Mi Lifestyle Marketing Global Private Limited Amway Herbalife Forever Living Products Keva Vestige Safe & Secure Online Marketing Pvt. Ltd Win Nature International Pvt Ltd Modicare IMC Mi Lifestyle Marketing Global Private Limited Mi Lifestyle Marketing Private Limited is an Indian company established in Chennai in 2013 and a network marketing company offering a wide range of lifestyle products directly to consumers and products approved by AYUSH. Amway Amway is an American company that uses a multi-level marketing model to sell a wide range of products, primarily in the health, beauty and home care markets. Amway was founded by Jay Van Andel and Richard DeVos in 1959. Amway Businesses Offer, Opportunities That Empower, Relationships That Endure. Herbalife Herbalife is a global nutrition company that has helped people to live a healthy, active life since 1980. Our nutrition, weight management and personal care products are available exclusively through our more than 2.3 million independent associates in more than 90 countries. Forever Living Products  Forever Living Products is a privately held multi-level marketing company based in Scottsdale, Arizona, which manufactures and sells aloe vera-based beverages and bee-derived nutritional supplements and personal care products. The company was founded in 1978 by CEO Rex Maughan. Keva  Keva Industries, established in 2009, is the world’s leading direct selling company, Wellness, Food, Personal Care, Color Cosmetics, Home Care, FMCG, Animal & Agriculture products. Company has more than 400 products in its portfolio, almost all segments with a unique offer of Buy 1 get 1 free. Vestige Vestige Marketing Pvt. Ltd., which started operations in 2004, is the leading direct sales company in the field of world-class health and personal care products.Vestige is growing at a phenomenal rate every year. Safe & Secure Online Marketing Pvt. Ltd Safe & Secure Pvt Online Marketing. Ltd. is an Indian direct selling company. Safe Shop offers a wide range of educational products, lifestyle, technology products. Win Nature International Pvt. Ltd Win Nature International Pvt.Ltd was Established in 2015. It is an emerging manufacturer of Ayurvedic products located in Nagpur (Maharashtra), the center of India We are a dynamic team, with expertise in manufacturing Ayurveda products and direct sales as well as men and money management. Modicare  Since the inception of the Modi Group of Industries, the core philosophy has remained consistent—to enhance, engage and empower people’s lives. This very ethos remained at the heart of the Modicare Foundation when it was established in 1996. International Marketing Corporation Pvt Ltd International Marketing Corporation Pvt Ltd. is an Indian network marketing company. IMC is an Indian direct selling company that began operating in 2007 and is a member of IDSA. The company’s turnover in 2019 is 400 crores. Conclusion Network Marketing does have its fair share of problems but they mainly revolve false and misleading information. However, you should not let false beliefs stop you from considering a network marketing business. You can achieve success if you gain solid understanding of the industry, choose a company carefully, find quality sponsors, commit time and effort to your business.  Global MLM Software is Leader in Providing MLM Software & Direct Selling Solutions to customers across the globe.  Visit our website to understand 200+ Ready to use features @ Try our Free Demo @ Connect with us for Business Consultation and plan Validation @