3 years ago5,000+ Views
Today's AfterLife column wasn't coming to me easily. I didn't have anything to write about, so I just didn't write.
Then I received an e-mail from my dad. He's a pretty funny guy. This golden e-mail detais a particularly laughable incident in which he attempts to get his hair cut. I read through it and decided I had to share it with you all. Dad's a good guy, but that doesn't mean he's not a grumpy old man.

Here is a special post, written by my father, the "Grumpy Old Man".

Tess' Note: This is an entirely real thing that happened to my dad, and as I understand it, completely ridiculous. I've sussed out my dad's writing with these handy dotted lines, and placed my editorial comments with this little precursor.
Hope you have a chuckle.
I needed a haircut. I'd been thinking about getting one for few weeks, but hadn't taken the time. I looked like one of those fifty-something guys who haven't held down a regular job in years--which is exactly what I am. I was looking sloppy-ish--which doesn't bother me any, but it irritates my children (and God knows, I wouldn't want to do that!) I needed to go to the dentist, too, but I hate the dentist and won't go unless I'm in pain.
Anyway, I was driving on Route 21, better known as Brecksville Rd., when I spotted a Great Clips in a mini-mall. I walked inside and noticed there were two stylists (is that what you call them?), both twenty-something females, both occupied. The stylist on the right side of the room looked up and said, "Welcome to Great Clips. Did you check in on line?"
[Tess' note: The following conversation takes place between my grumpy dad and a stylist at a Great Clips. This is like the McDonald's of hair places mind you. Dad's dialogue is in bold]
"Did I what?" I asked.
"Did you check in on line?"
"Was I supposed to?"
"No. But you can."
"I just want a haircut," I said.
"Okay. What's your phone number?" she asked.
"What's yours?" I asked. She chuckled nervously.
"We don't give out our phone numbers."
"But I'm supposed to give out mine to a stranger at Great Clips?" I said.
"You don't have to. What's your name?"
"You have to have my name to cut my hair?" I asked.
"Well, no. I guess I don't. I'll be with you in a few minutes."
"Terrific!" I said.
Ten minutes later, the stylist finished cutting the hair of a boy who looked to be in the fourth or fifth grade, collected thirteen dollars from his mother, walked to the back of the shop and disappeared.
I waited a few minutes, then stood and walked toward the stylist on the left.
[Tess' Note: Dad's not a very patient guy.]
"Is your colleague still here?"
"She's probably on her break," she said without looking up from her work on the head of a thirty-five year-old man.
"What is it? Two thirty? Yeah. She's on her break."
"She went on her break with me waiting fifteen minutes already?"
"Okay, well I'm apparently leaving," I said, turning toward the door.
"She'll be back in ten minutes," the stylist called to my backside.
I didn't turn around. No haircut for me. No need to explain. I'm sure I wasn't the first to walk out under those circumstances. I'm reasonably sure. Was I wrong? Who knows these days?
It's like pulling teeth to get a haircut.
I should have gone to the dentist.
My dad Matt is 57 and hangs out with my demonic cat Miss.Tuffsey. He likes baseball, golf, best buy and other dad things.
Is your dad grumpy like mine? If you want more stories from my grumpy geezer let me know in the comments below.
@esha that sounds nice! My dad has his moments of not being grumpy, but more often than not...he's well...the proof is in the card lol
@misssophiestik I'm glad. There's a lot more where that came from lol. And @cindystran I'm sorry to hear that :/ your dad sounds like a grumpy guy too lol. I remember when my whole family went to see Nsync back in the day, boy was that a trial lol. What movie did you go see lol? And you're right dads will be dads! Haha
Yes, please post more stories! My mom and dad separated, so I didn't have the chance to grow up with him. We do get to hangout occasionally. One of the most memorable memory is when he took us to watch the Jonas Brothers. we actually didn't go in because he thought the wait to get in was ridiculously long. He was out of patience when we waited about 2 hours and was pretty grumpy with teens were shouting everywhere, so he convinced us to leave and took us to watch a movie instead. The concert tickets were free anyways. My point is dad will always be dads.
This is a great card about your dad. I'm starting to dig him, well I think I already do.
Omg that's one of a million..ask him to write about a ham sandwich or cell phone
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