[The following conversation took place on July 15th, 2013 under the influence]
I'm not even really sure, you know? I kind of feel like I'm still in high school. Like, I keep going back and forth on what I feel. It's like, hey do you like her or like like her, you know? What's up with that? I mean, aren't we adults? Why am I still feeling that way?
Well, we sort of left things on a weird note, you know? I was Facebook messaging her before I got here and, like, I wanted to talk to her more about how I felt and all that but that's when you called and now I'm drinking cheap beer with you.
Oh, well, yeah. Sorry, I mean I was talking to her about something or whatever, her job or something and I don't know how we got there but we started talking about our "feelings" and I'm just like, oh shit, oh shit, now's my chance, right? So, what do I do?
That's right. I fuckin' blow it.
Yeah, I sent her a song by Swearin' and I was like, yeah this kind of sums it up for me. Yeah, I totally did send her that song. And it wasn't until I was walking over here that I realized what those lyrics were. You remember the chorus right? Yeah, it's like:
I just want you to love me...
I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. Like, you don't tell someone you just met that kind of shit. I mean, we sort of just met.
Wait, this whole time you didn't know who I was talking about. You know the one, you met her. From a couple weeks ago. She's uh, [hand gesture that's supposed to mean glasses but they are so drunk at this point it's kind of just like an upside down A-OK over one eye but it isn't completely understandable] you know?
Yeah, yeah, her. But like, now I'm really fucking confused. 'Cause maybe I do like, like her you know? And maybe I think about her a lot. And by a lot, I mean all the time. I just wonder what she's doing all the time and I think about doing things with her all the time. And it isn't entirely sexual it's just, like, I want to get to know you and be with you and hang out all the time and maybe kiss you on the cheek, you know?
Maybe I am in high school again. Wait, hold on [he checks his Facebook messages on his phone. Smiles to it]. She liked it, man. She did, I swear, look [drunkenly holds phone up to his friend's face then proceeds to drop it on the floor]. Oh, fuck.
You know how hard it is for me, man. I'm not good at this shit and, like, I kind of want to be happy with someone instead of alone, you know? Like, don't I deserve that for once in my life? I think I do. I think it's something all want, deep down, but it's really fucking scary to dive in like that. It's uh [burp, laugh, burp], good. It's cool, you know?