2 years ago
jordanhamilton
in English · 4,790 Views
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The Lover's Dictionary: A Verb Called Recant

Inspired by David Levithan's novel The Lover's Dictionary.

recant (v.)
I want to take back that right swipe because now that I think about it, it probably wasn't meant to be. I want to take back the first text I ever sent because you turned out to be the worst texter anyway. I want to take back our first kiss because your lips weren't worthy. I want to take back the long walks we took together because it was only time wasted. I want to take back the food we ate in each others company, just so I can order something different. I say I want to take these things back, but deep down I don't want to take back anything.
I want to take back the way you looked at me that night you got on the subway, your eyes were enticing. I want to take back the way you held my hand and hugged me while we walked down Broadway -- you never seemed to care who was looking. I want to take back that night we stayed on the phone until 6AM and I had church in another three hours, but it was so worth it. I want to take back the way I fell just a little too hard, so just maybe this time you would catch me. I want to take back the way my heart skipped a beat every time you smiled -- it was beautiful. I want to take back our plans to go see Dope together because we never did. I want to take back my 25th birthday when I just knew you would come through, of all people. You never did. I want to take back the way you made me feel because it was a feeling I hadn't felt in awhile and I loved it. I want to take back the memories, but they're still here -- lingering.

I want to take back my heart because I gave it to you and you never quite gave it back.

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@jordanhamilton, Oh, it's never that easy, which is what makes that line so powerful. I think we've all been there before, feeling like someone else is carrying a piece of you with them and you're left feeling broken and alone.
yep, basically! you took the words right out of my mouth. the fact that we never quite know when we will get that piece back is the tricky part and it will drive you insane -- slowly. well, sometimes @paulisaverage glad you understand.
this is amazing. its so powerful because it is such little things that you wish you could take back because its the little things that make you love someone! i loved the line " I want to take back the food we ate in each others company, just so I can order something different." that just hit home because its like one littttttttle change could have made everything different
Liz!!!! I swear it's the notifications and not me. I am JUST now seeing this, my apologies. but thank you so so much! and yes, that's one of my favorite lines. there's so much we wish we could change and do over sometimes, but when it's too late -- it's just too late. that's life. @LizArnone